An update offered in lieu of anything better

I’m still unable to write anything creative or thoughtful, but I will at least check-in. The pain is no better on the shoulder that was operated on in December, and it’s significantly worse on the other, presumably due to continued arthritic deterioration. I don’t sleep well because of the pain, and the longer I stay in my chair, the worse it hurts. Narcotics have become all but useless for pain relief, but they still get me stoned, and if I’m having an especially bad night, I had rather lie awake stoned than sober.

My lower leg bones are now giving me fits, as if they had been burned. Shin splints feel that way; only my pain is higher up. I finally connected it to the recliner I sleep in. Peggy bought the chair years ago, and it’s a little short for me, so I tend to lie with my legs bowed. When I finally realized that this had to be the cause of my leg pain, I tried forcing myself to keep my legs straight. This didn’t work, so now I’ve taken to fastening a belt snugly around my lower thighs.

Sleeping is complicated. I tie a blanket to the footrest to cushion my heels; place my pharmaceutical stash and toothguard (I grind my teeth when I sleep) within reach; fill my CPAP tank with distilled water (a CPAP is a machine for sleep apnea); hook the mask and the tank to the CPAP; and get one or two ice packs and a heating pad. I drape one towel over the chair back to protect it and another towel around my neck and over my shoulders so I won’t get frostbite from the ice packs. Now, I’m ready to sit down.

I fasten the belt around my thighs to keep my legs straight; unfold my afghan; lay the ice packs over my shoulders, lean back in the chair while trying to keep the ice packs from falling off; lay towels over the ice packs to keep the cold in; put the heating pad on my chest so I won’t shiver from the ice packs; take off my glasses; put in my toothguard; put on the CPAP mask; and, finally, adjust the mask ten or more times until I get a tight seal. One to two hours later, the pain wakes me up, and I have to go to the kitchen for fresh ice packs.

No one knows why the shoulder that I had operated on in December isn’t improving. My physical therapist suggested that I see an MD who specializes in chemical imbalances, but it would cost a lot, and since my yearly physical—which is paid for by insurance—is in a few weeks, I’m going to wait and see how that turns out. If nothing else, it will provide me with test results to take to the new doctor.

If I had only myself to think about, I don’t know how much more of this pain I would tolerate. I had years of it before surgery—although to a lesser degree—and when I had my first surgery a year ago this month, I figured that in twelve months, I would have both surgeries and most of my rehabilitation behind me. Now, here I am twelve months later, still in pain, partially disabled, and anticipating at least one more surgery on my right shoulder. The final outcome of the surgery on my left shoulder won’t be known until the end of the year.

In other news, I’ve been spending hours a day creating a synopsis of my writings. I started in February, and have completed eighteen months out of 30+ years—I don’t know the exact number because some of them are handwritten and unorganized. I had previously completed fifteen years, so the job isn’t quite so voluminous as it sounds. I enjoy the work but wish there were less of it. I also wish I could focus better. Unless you have been in pain hour after hour, day after day, for months or even years; you can’t imagine how tiring and distracting it becomes.

I have zero social life because I have no energy for it. I walk the dogs for a half hour each day, but the rest of my time is spent indoors, often close to despair. I’m not without hope however. I also have a bottle of Lexapro, but I’m not taking it because I’m on so many other pills, all of which are tough on the liver and kidneys—I’m in no mood for organ failure.

As for what efforts I’m making to actually help myself, I’m doing my prescribed stretching exercises—when I can tolerate them— eating sparingly, and taking various vitamin, mineral, and herbal supplements. I stand 5’10” and weigh 168 pounds, so I’m already on the lean side. However, a minimal diet has been found helpful for many problems in animal testing even when the animals weren’t overweight. I’m also intrigued by such a diet because, years ago, I fasted one day a week and lived almost entirely on raw smoothies that I made from nuts, grains, fruits, berries, veggies, and soy milk. I found the combination of fasting and smoothies to be a tremendous boon to my general health, so it seems worth trying now. I haven’t started the smoothie part yet, but I lost three pounds this week.

I have contemplated such a regimen for the better part of a year, but because Peggy opposed it when I did it before, and because food is one of the few things I still enjoy, I only made half-hearted efforts. I kept hoping there would be another way to deal with my problems, or that time would work its magic, but neither has happened.

Some of you have suggested various alternative therapies, and I am grateful for those recommendations. However, I have sometimes been accused of preferring to wallow in self-pity when I didn’t do what you suggested. I never reject a suggestion without first learning something about it. I’m just not willing to spend time and money on things that—in my mind—make no sense whatever and lack even a smidgen of scientific validation.


kylie said...

my only thought is "there must be another way"

Crazed Mom said...

First of all, no one should be chastising you because they think you are not trying the various therapies they suggest! People, if you do not live with chronic pain you have NO IDEA of how extremely difficult it is!!!

One of my most passionate issues in nursing is chronic pain management. I did a huge paper/care plan on it and believe it can be helpful to try all alternative methods. However, in many cases nothing helps.

Snow you have my sincere empathy(as much as I can have). My mother had advanced RA and I saw that kind of pain in action for much of my late teens and my 20's.

I may whine on my blog but in my inner heart I know I have it pretty good. I have good health at 48. No chronic conidtions except the heredity of obscenely high cholesteral. We might be unemployed and pretty darn poor but that is nothing compared to the many other things we could be living with.

Snow~this post breaks my heart because you do not even get 10 minutes a day of true relief.

I will keep you in my payers even though you are an atheist.(wink)

nollyposh said...


Mim said...

ah poor snow - this is so hard to understand, I can't imagine the misery.
does it help to know that you write like a king and everyone enjoys your thoughts, and words? I hope so....

Marion said...

Snow, I hate to hear that you're still having so much pain. I'd hoped you were getting better. Sigh. I feel your pain, trust me. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Blessings!

Snowbrush said...

Kylie said: "my only thought is "there must be another way"

Many of my readers suffer from chronic pain despite years of seeking relief. Until you've been there, there is the tendency to think that modern medicine--or alternative modern medicine--surely has something significant to offer, yet people thought the same thing 200 years ago. We now know that, in most cases, those people were better off not even seeing a doctor because of the dangerous treatments they prescribed. It is understandable that we hold to, and exaggerate the power of, what little help we have lest we despair.

Crazed Mom said: "no one should be chastising you because they think you are not trying the various therapies they suggest!"

They take it personally, I think, as if I'm telling them they don't know what they're talking about. I see them as people who mistake feelings and intuition for facts, and they--I think--see me as a guy who worships hard science to the point that he is closed off to such things as spirit, intuition, and sensitivity.

Crazed Mom said: "I will keep you in my payers even though you are an atheist."

This isn't aimed at you--I know very little about your religion. That said, do you wanna know something that puzzles the hell out of me about Christians? It's that Jesus' sympathies were ALWAYS with the very people who the mainstream religious people of his day rejected, and never with the mainstream religious people themselves. This means that, in all likelihood, he had rather hang out with me than with Billy Graham or Pope Benedict. Yet, the "good Christians" themselves despise me and treat me as if I have a contagious disease. They seem to have no clue that THEY'RE the kind of people who Jesus railed against.

Nollyposh said: "((((((hugs))))))"

Thank you, dear.

Mim said: "does it help to know that you write like a king and everyone enjoys your thoughts, and words? "

Yes, it helps a great deal. The downside is that when I post something like my last piece (that I've since relocated) and hardly anyone responds, I feel bummed. It's never wise to rely too much on the support of others. I don't know how many times I've had new readers praise me to the heavens, and then go away never to comment again. People are funny that way. I can't NOT be tickled at the support I receive, but I try to never forget how easily it can be withdrawn.

Marion said: "I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.'

Thank you, Marion.

khelsaoe said...

It breaks my heart to hear that you are still in so much pain. {{{{hugs}}}} from me as well.

Sonia ;) said...

Sonia sais, " No one can ever understand someone elses pain."

The chair looks like a shock therapy hair LOL...You do write beautifully though snow. Your writings always make a impact.


Suzanne said...

You still horny?

Anonymous said...

The chair actually resembles an electric chair.

My nephew (age 51) was suicidal due to fibromyalgia. The pain finally wore him down into an old man. He heard of many treatments, like you have. While living in Florida for 9 months I heard of a doctor who decided to specialize in Fibromyalgia. Why? Because HE suffered from it too! That's one way to get a doctor interested!

After being placed on SEVERE food restrictions, my nephew has stopped planning his suicide. It IS working. But things like that don't happen in general.

And there's always that one article in the ENquirer, or Readers Digest that has all the answers in one little change from white flour to brown flour, etc.

Pain is a great equalizer and it's a shame that it cannot be shared, if only for one hour, so that others can truly appreciate what your 24/7 is truly like.

I wonder if you could place your ice packs in a pillowcase, leaving the open end laying over the top of your recliner. Use safety pins to pin the end of the pillowcase, so that it HOLDS your ice packs at the right height. Then wrap the ice packs with your towels. That way they won't be slipping down during the night.

Just a thought. And you're in MY thoughts daily.

CreekHiker said...

Oh Snow... I'm so sorry you have this pain!

All Consuming said...

I have had years of people finding it beyond impossible to think there is no other help for the pain, and there have been lists of things they want me to try, and yes, I've had your experience also when I haven't done as they wish, to the extent I sometimes say "yes I did try that and it was pants and didn't help one bit, but thanks for the thought".

It's so hard not being grumpy when your in pain isn't it? Anyway, you make me feel better when I read your posts, though obviously not because I'm happy you're having such a grim time of it. I'm glad you can keep up the posting, even in your pain, for both you and I. Virtual hugs to you in abundance, Michelle xxx

Diana said...

Getting old ain't for sissies!
Love Di ♥

Crazed Mom said...

Snow I prefer to follow the example Jesus set in the new testements. The poor, the ill, the homeless, all deserving to be treated as family versus the hypocrisy many who call themselves Christians show. I like to believe if Jesus ever comes back he'd think like I do.

He'd not judge anyone as the bible says that is the job of His father.

Snowbrush said...

Khelasoe said: "It breaks my heart to hear that you are still in so much pain."

That makes two of us...well, maybe there are a few more.

Sonia said: "The chair looks like a shock therapy chair"

Ha--Dana (see below) thought it looked like an electric chair.

Suzanne said: "You still horny?"

Just when I was losing hope, here you are again. I wish I could share a book passage with you that I was reading today about a WWII soldier's hallucination that the "whore of death" visited him one night in a bomb crater. Despite her sepulchral breath, the maggots on her lips, and the skin sloughing off her thighs, he wanted her like he had never wanted a woman before. Only she said they couldn't do it there--he would have to follow her to the Japanese lines. That's you and me, Suzanne-- sick all the way and loving it.

Dana said: "My nephew (age 51) was suicidal due to fibromyalgia."

All Consuming and Marion both have that (they both responded to this post, so you can easily visit their blogs). I would love to know more about your nephew's treatment--do you have any links? Hunger most definitely distracts one from other problems, and maybe that is partly why it's supposed to help with pain.

CreekHiker said: "I'm so sorry you have this pain!"

Thank you--and I'm damned sorry that you're about to lose your insurance. That's what I meant when I wrote on your blog that I was lucky to still have insurance. It's not that I thought you didn't, but that I knew you were about to get priced out of the market.

Diana said: "Getting old ain't for sissies"

I've heard that! I suspect, however, that sissies are more likely to get old since the bold, tough, adventurous types get killed early on. It's also true though that it's the emotionally resilient who live the longest. People like me who don't do well with seeing their loved ones die and their own bodies deteriorate, rarely celebrate their 90th or 100th birthday.

Crazed Mom said: " I prefer to follow the example Jesus set in the new testements."

It's quite rare, in my experience, for Christians to do that. They're much more likely to be judgmental and self-congratulatory regarding their own supposed superiority.

Suzanne said...

Baby, did you just call me a whore?!!! Okay, that's it, I'm out. I blame Kylie.

Natalie said...

Which fu**er do i have to shoot? I'm coming over!

Realliveman said...

Things will get better. It's just around the corner.

Marion said...

I just recently took a full-day course on pain management. The teacher, a pharmacist, made sure all of us knew that if pain is not kept up with at a manageable level, it may not recede.In other words, medications should be taken before pain is bad, and in orderly and timely fashion...all the time.

In reading your posts, it's the only thing I'm not sure of regarding this vicious you take your meds every 4 or 6 hours? Even if you are fairly comfortable? I'm trying to come up with a helpful comment, but I know all to well what that friggin' pain is like...and sometimes, even taking meds in "a timely and orderly fashion" means dick in my case. I suspect it may be the same in yours.

You know what? I think I'll just say something wimpy like I hope you have an hour or two of relatively pain free moments today.

rhymeswithplague said...

Snow, I agree with you completely that, in all likelihood, Jesus would rather hang out with you than with Billy Graham or Pope Benedict. In fact (here it comes), He does hang out with you. And I am just crazy enough to believe that He will take away your pain. I just wish you would understand some of His.

I was almost offended when you told Crazed Mom that "good Christians" despise you and treat you as if you have a contagious disease. Then I realized that the fact that you obviously do not consider me a "good Christian" is one of the nicest things you have ever said to me.

I'm praying for you, and there's not one thing you can do about it.

Debra Kay said...

Snow-your writing really struck a chord with me and made me realize I'm a little ashamed of my pain. It's getting much better, and it has only been going on since the end of January, but I'm already tired of writing about it and tired of grunting when I stand up or move wrong.

When I just don't feel like getting up I feel so guilty-because I can get up for emergencies, but a little light house cleaning is overwhelming. What's my deal? And I realize in writing this that doing the dishes is NOT an emergency...LOL-but I still feel so guilty.

I get sore from shivering. I had to spend a lot of time at the barn this weekend with a sick horse, and while I didn't DO that much physically, I was cold most of the time and today I feel like I've been beaten.

But, I am going to resolve just for today not to be ashamed of the pain. It just takes more energy to feel that way.

JOE TODD said...

Stopped by to say Hi. I have no suggestions as far as the pain seems to me you have researched the topic as well or better than most. Thought you might have posted something about the health care plan that just passed. I would be interested in your thoughts on the matter.

Snowbrush said...

Suzanne said: "Baby, did you just call me a whore?!!!"

Uh, if calling you a whore is a bad thing, then no I didn't. My Blogger account was obviously hacked into by Rhymes with Plague (see below) who is trying to run you off so I can find Jesus.

Natalie said: "Which fu**er do i have to shoot? I'm coming over!"

I have no idea what "fu**er" means (fureigner? fucker?), but I'm sure glad you're coming over regardless. Suzanne has already said she wants to jump into my recliner with me, and now that you do too, the three of us are going to flip that sucker right on over and PARTY, and the best part about it is that Peggy bought that recliner with the money she inherited from her saintly grandmother who was president of the Louisiana Faithfulness to Marriage Association. You two nymphets sure know how to make an evil old man feel three months younger.

Realliveman said: "Things will get better. It's just around the corner."

Either you're psychic or you're talking about death! Which is it?

Marion said: "medications should be taken before pain is bad"

Which is excellent advice when you're dealing with acute pain. It's different with chronic pain because the drugs become less effective as you take more of them. If I don't get significant relief in my left shoulder, at least, in the next few months and if my regular doctor (who will be doing my physical) doesn't have any good ideas, I anticipate seeing a pain specialist. I'm not sure what drugs he might offer, but I know from long experience that most narcotics stop working fairly quickly.

RhymeswithPlague said: "In fact (here it comes), He [Jesus] does hang out with you."

Given that you know I regard Jesus--as an eternally living entity--as imaginary, I have no idea what you're trying to communicate, Rhymes.

RhymeswithPlague said:" I just wish you would understand some of His [Jesus']."

Again, Rhymes, you're talking to me about an entity that you surely must know I consider imaginary.

RhymeswithPlague said:" I'm praying for you, and there's not one thing you can do about it."

As I've written a few times now, I don't object to being prayed for per se. I interpret it simply as a statement of caring unless someone says it in what sounds like a passive-aggressive manner. For instance, I'm okay with someone praying that I will feel better because they know that I want to feel better, but if they tell me they're praying that I will receive something they know I don't want (such as becoming a Christian when they know that I regard Christianity as a blight on humanity), I don't take it as a loving gift but as a thinly veiled and hypocritical attack. It's as if someone told you that they were praying that God would show you, Rhymes, that your highest values are garbage and that your eyes will be opened to the truth of Scientology, knowing that you detest L. Ron Hubbard. Such statements are not a gift; they're a knife in the back.

Snowbrush said...

Debra Kay said: "...I feel so guilty-because I can get up for emergencies, but a little light house cleaning is overwhelming."

If you were a Jew in a Nazi camp, you would find the strength to do all manner of things that would be stupid to do if you had a choice. I don't feel so guilty about what I can't do, so much as I feel sad. I love physical labor, and I've always prided myself on my work. It's far, far harder--a thousand times harder--for me to let other people do my work than it would be for me to do it myself. Yet, I know that I could easily erase all the progress I've made just by doing one stupid thing for one minute. Nurture yourself, my love.

Debra Kay said: " I am going to resolve just for today not to be ashamed of the pain. It just takes more energy to feel that way."

And negative emotions make the pain hurt more too. Peggy and I had a fight last week, and my pain skyrocketed. Scientific studies have shown again and again that people hurt less and heal faster when their minds are at peace.

Joe Todd said: "Thought you might have posted something about the health care plan that just passed."

I haven't heard the news in a couple of days, so I didn't even know it had passed until you told me. I'm sorry, Joe, I simply don't know enough to comment. I tried to follow the various bills for awhile, but lost track about the time the administration agreed to let Nebraska off the hook for expenses that other states would have to pay. I just get so disgusted with politics and so doubtful that our legislators are even capable of getting anything right, that I stop listening.

Pat - Arkansas said...

Hullo, Snowbrush. Thanks for your visit and suggestion re: Apple Computers. There probably will not be one in my future despite all its attributes. I fear the price is greater than my pocket book will allow.
I'm very sorry to hear that you're still feeling "poorly;" I can only hope that your physician, at your annual physical exam, is able to shed some insight into and offer relief for your distress.

rhymeswithplague said...

Snow, you misunderstand me. I'm not praying that you will receive something I know you don't want, I'm praying that you will receiving something I know you do want: relief from the constant pain. That's all. I'm sorry that my words came across as a passive-aggressive, thinly veiled and hypocritical attack.

Also, just to clear something up, I don't "detest" (to use your word) L. Ron Hubbard. Not at all. But I certainly think what he taught is all wrong.

I am not your enemy, and you are not mine. I hope you know that.

Snowbrush said...

Pat said: "re: Apple Computers. There probably will not be one in my future...the price is greater than my pocket book will allow."

I know what you mean. I will just mention that the price is offset by two things. One is that you don't need McAfee or Norton. Of course, these companies sell protective software for Mac, but I've yet to talk to a single Mac expert who thinks they are desirable much less important.

Secondly, Macs tend to be a whole lot more reliable, and it only takes one visit to the shop to pay the difference in price.

I'm frugal than most people, but having had one Mac, I can't imagine going back to PC.

Snowbrush said...

Rhymes said: " I'm sorry that my words came across as a passive-aggressive, thinly veiled and hypocritical attack."

They didn't! I meant to say that I feel fine when people say they're praying for me, just so long as I take it as an act of caring--which I always do in your case. Your are my friend, and I trust you. I even have this notion in my head that if I should get down to Georgia in the next decade or two that we might meet. (I have ancestors buried over on Sand Mountain, Alabama, and I hope to visit their graves again someday.) You do not seem to understand how fondly I think of you, and how desirous I am of maintaining our friendship. You were right in that it was an implied compliment that I not refer to you as a "good Christian," because every time I've heard the term used, it had nothing to do with kindness or compassion and everything to do with rejecting people who weren't perceived to make the grade, religion-wise.

Every person (I would guess) who isn't a believer is told sooner or later that a given Christian is praying that he will find Jesus. Of course, there's nothing wrong with praying that someone will find Jesus if that's what you (not you personally but a generic believer) think they need, but when you KNOW that the person you're praying for won't welcome such a prayer--and might even be offended by it, and question your motive in telling him about it--it seems odd to tell him, does it not? In this regard, I remember the words of the Apostle Paul about being "all things to all people." In other words, meeting them where they are as opposed to aggressively trying to browbeat them to where you are (again, not you personally, but a generic believer).

The only way Christianity ever means anything to me is when I see someone living with the openness and acceptance that Jesus lived. Talking about Jesus means nothing. Rejecting people in the name of Jesus means less than nothing. After I left the church, I lost dozens of friends who felt that they were better than i because they were Christians, and I no longer was. Such events only estrange me from religion more than I would be estranged anyway. It makes me see it as a divisive force, which, generally speaking, it seems to be.

Have you read John Shelby Spong? If he were the preacher in a particular congregation, I would attend, but he's the only Christian leader I know of who represents the religion in a positive light.

kylie said...

i like john shelby spong

why does she get to share your recliner?


do i get to be a not good christian as well?

Snowbrush said...

Kylie said "why does she get to share your recliner?

Who? Suzanne, Marion, John Shelby Strong? Maybe Natalie? Maybe the one thing I really need is an orgy to get me back on track. To that end, I'm unsure about John Shelby, but wouldn't kick him out of the chair if he wanted into it, although all women plus me would be my preference. You're coming, aren't you?

After a plane flight years ago, I got to hang out either every stewardess on the flight. Talk about your VIP treatment. I was only seven years old, and my sister was late picking me up--not that I cared because I no longer even wanted her to pick me up surrounded as I was by beautiful, loving, and sophisticated women who couldn't keep their hands off me. I could go with more of that kind of treatment.

Sonia ;) said...

Ok Snow your having way to much sharing your chair and such...LOL...3 months younger?


rhymeswithplague said...

Non-snake-handling, now that might be a different story.

rhymeswithplague said...

I guess, to continue the religious aspect of one of your earlier comments, just because you regard Jesus -- as an eternally living entity -- to be imaginary doesn't mean He is [imaginary]. You could turn the statement on its head and apply its opposite to me and I suppose that would also be true.

What you and I believe does not affect the truth of what actually is. So I could be wrong. Or you could be wrong. St. Paul spoke of the resurrection as having "many infallible proofs" and that the risen Jesus appeared to over 500 people at one time. So he could be making it all up. Or he could be reporting what actually happened. Same thing with Luke and the Ascension in the book of Acts.

That said, I do not believe that Alice actually fell down a rabbit hole and went to Wonderland.

You better avoid Sand Mountain. An atheist reporter went to Sand Mountain a few years back to write about a snake-handling group of Pentecostals and ended up becoming a Christian, writing a book called Salvation on Sand Mountain.
I'm just sayin'....

For the record, I do not agree with snake-handling Pentecostals.

Snowbrush said...

Sonia said: "Snow your having way to much sharing your chair"

But without you here too, Sonia, the other 184 women who are here don't mean anything...well, maybe they do. In any event, I have room for more.

Rhymes said: "What you and I believe does not affect the truth of what actually is."

I agree, but it follows that if truth has an objective existence apart from our perception of it, then we can best establish truth by objective investigation.

Crazed Mom said...

Does the fact I've been having sex dreams lately mean I can be part of the orgy? Just tape it hon! And no I have no idea why all my dreams have included sex in the past week. Except the one dream I had where I helped kill my mom. Which is seriously odd as today was my mom's b-day and she died of an aortic anerysm when she was alone.
Freud, if I believed in his dream interpretations would have a field day with me!

Just_because_today said...

I can't offer anything enlightening that hasn't been said above. What an ordeal.
I can relate at a small level. My pain lasted 6 months, it was debilitating and yes, you are right, no social life, it is impossible to concentrate on a conversation when we are trying to escape the pain in our minds.
But yes, Snow, there is gotta be a better way.

nollyposh said...

Hey Snow, Thanks again for your/this post, it has helped me get some perspective on something in my life... and isn't that just the beauty of this bloggy worlde xox

the walking man said...

Where science meets holistic treatment for all pain

I suffered for years with chronic, clinical pain where now the pain is reduced from a constant 10+ to a very manageable 3. I never slept more than forty minutes at a time. Now on a bad day I sleep at least 6 hours. If this is too far away call them anyway and see if they know of someone in your area who follows Dr. Glowacki's protocol for pain management.

There is much new technology out there. Including a neuro-stimulator implant ( I have this and it works very well) made by the Medtronix corporation.

kj said...

shit, snow, i've been away only to find that your surgery didn't help and you are still knee deep in pain.

this is where the limits of blogs trip me up: it's hard to visualize how someone as vibrant and charming and honest and aware as you can have so little comfort. i don't like it. i wish i had something to offer you, besides maybe sonia sitting your your lap :)

i have to agree with our mark on this one: surely somebody's got something to offer pain mgt-wise. and yet i know saying that is close to blaming the patient for what is real and what has been tried and failed to help.

i'm glad to finally be back on your blog. you've been on my mind even when i've been a bad listener.

love to you, snow. i'm hoping.


His kajirah said...

Hi Snow

As you know my thoughts are always with you and while it may sound disheartening, I do enjoy your posts about pain. Of course I do not wish people to hurt and sometimes it even hurts to hear about it, but there's also a connection in sharing and for that I'm glad that you do.

I had my Lumbar Sympathetic Nerve block done yesterday morning (my 14th over time). I actually came out with relief and was able to sleep finally for hours.

I too have a Spinal Cord Stimulator permanent implant as the Walking Man mentioned. Also made by Medtronic. Have had it since 2006. (I think you know that from peeking at my own blog)

It worries me that you describe your lower legs feeling as if they've been burned.

That's a major sign of my own illness RSD/CRPS. The fire that never ceases. Ugh.

I hope this block lasts longer than a couple of days, but just having a single day down to a 3 is blessing.

I'll be praying that somehow, someway, you get the same.

Warmest wishes,

Snowbrush said...

Cali said: "It worries me that you describe your lower legs feeling as if they've been burned. That's a major sign of my own illness RSD/CRPS. The fire that never ceases."

I could have what you have, but I just read that it's more common in women under age 55, so I'm going to hope I missed it. The belt around my thighs seemed to help the leg pain initially, but at the moment, I am just miserable both with the usual intense bruised feeling in my shoulders and the fire in the bones of my lower legs.

I thank everyone else who wrote, but I can't write anymore at the moment.

Chrisy said...

I hear you Snow. I understand. You're coping better than most people would in the same circumstances. You're still here!

Strayer said...

It sounds like hell you are living in, Snow. Makes me want to shiver to think about it. Could it still be your neck. After all, those nerves that run your arm and shoulder come down from one of the vertebrae. Check out double crush syndrome, because that helped me, to loosen up the muscle just there below your collar bone because the nerves run right under it then off to your shoulder. But if the shoulder is tight without space those nerves get crushed and creating space with posture exercises can be helpful sometimes, too. Bet you've tried all this. Sorry, can't help myself. Does your shoulder have any relief if you move your neck a certain way or ice a certain spot on your neck or spine? Tumeric, that spice, I suppose you know all about its antiinflammatory properties.

I don't know what to say. I wish I did.

julie mitchell said...

Since I can't help your pain disappear and believe me, I would if I could...I've decided to send you joke, quotes or nonsense that might make you smile and maybe even laugh...This one made me chuckle..I guess you should rate them 1 - 4 stars...since I really don't know for sure what tickles your funny here's the first...the best I could do on short notice..

The Jewish Boy and the Muslim Boy
David, a Jewish boy, and Ali, a Muslim boy, are having a conversation.

Ali: I'm getting operated on tomorrow.

David: Oh? What are they going to do?

Ali: Circumcise me!

David: I had that done when I was just a few days old.

Ali: Did it hurt?

David: I couldn't walk for a year!

The-Fire-Olympus said...

I am sorry for your pain.

Please be well soon

Murr Brewster said...

Okay, just one little piece, then I'll bow out. (Because evangelism offends me and I tend to get evangelistic about this.) Pete Egoscue: A Revolutionary Method For Stopping Chronic Pain.

It's at your library. I won't tout it any more unless you beg me.