The Bed Wars


Everyday when I got ready to make the bed, Brewsky would be in it. I would pick him up, set him on the floor, and proceed with my work. He resented this and would jump back into bed before I could even pull the covers off. I would put him on the floor again, and he would jump back into bed again. I’m a fast bed-maker, but some days, he would jump back into bed as many as eight times. I didn’t know what to do. For six months, I was tortured. For six months, I lay awake worrying. Finally, I realized that I only had two choices: quit making the bed or kill the cat. These choices were so grim that I decided to devote six more months to thinking about the problem. 

One day as I watched him gobble down his supper (he eats like a dog), I thought that maybe I could use food to bribe him to get out of bed, so I tried it. It worked, splendidly. I would throw a few kibbles down the hallway, and off he would go. Sometimes, I would either be too hurried or simply not in the mood to do this, and so it was that I gradually went back to setting him on the floor. To my surprise, he no longer became angry. Most days, he’s even downright patient, and will observe me stoically until I pull the spread over the pillows, which is his cue that he can jump back in and not be taken out again. Ever now and I then, I will put him back into the bed myself, pet him a little, and wish him happy dreams. He seems to appreciate this. He’s hardly an unreasonable cat, and I’m happy that I was clever enough to think of an alternative to murder.

20 comments:

kylie said...

brewski is such a cat!

Kerry said...

The Cat Whisperer.

CreekHiker / HollysFolly said...

You are a clever guy and alternatives to murder is always a good thing! I can't believe he doesn't expect the food every day...

Stephen Hayes said...

You know what they say; dogs have owners but cats have staff.

lotta joy said...

I'm sure that Brewski is now purring a sigh of relief that you finally learned (after six months) and he won't have to kill YOU. He showed a great deal of patience where you're concerned.

The Bipolar Diva said...

he so owns you!

The Elephant's Child said...

Brewski is a much nicer cat than our Jazz. I am about to put up a post which should show what I mean.

The Blog Fodder said...

This morning Kuchma sat on the carpet in the bedroom until he was sure Tanya had left the room then he jumped on the bed with me and went to sleep. We both know who the Big Boss is.

Charles Gramlich said...

Hum, I might have just carried him out of the room and shut the door. Cats don't have opposable thumbs and find opening doors hard. :)

kj said...

the art of compromise.....

love
kj

Deb said...

I agree with Charles on this one! I always leave my Chihuahua outside of the bedroom while I'm trying to make the bed. She does the same thing. No murders though. ;)

Snowbrush said...

"I agree with Charles on this one! I always leave my Chihuahua outside of the bedroom while I'm trying to make the bed."

But isn't that awfully complicated? I mean, you pick the cat (or dog, in your case) up, take it outside the door, set it down, run back in, and shut the door before it can get inside. That's what, seven or eight steps? How do you ever remember them all (it took me ten minutes while doing nothing but sitting here looking at the ones I had already written)? And don't you worry that if you resort to forcible eviction that the animal will complain to the humane society, or else retaliate by biting you where it hurts or scratching your eyes out while you're asleep? The entire process, start to finish, must be like inventing the hydrogen bomb all over again everyday.

klahanie said...

Aha, good thing that Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar, didn't read this pawsting, sorry, posting.

She's not exactly a member of the cat appreciation club. Although, with Brewsky, I'm sure she would make an exception.

You seem to have reached a happy compromise. That would be until he insists that you feed him kibbles in bed :)

Kert said...

Cats can be bitchy, can't they? I love cats too, even those who are such a diva because they can be very sweet as well.

I'm happy that you were able to think of a good way to get him out of bed. Both of you seem happy about it. You would probably be very devastated if you did carry out your Plan A.

Zuzana said...

What a great story.;) And the picture is to die for.;) Reminds me of my old cat, Gypsi, he would love to snuggle with me under the blanket. Sammy refuses to have any kind of spread put over him, he goes ballistic.;) He only likes to lie on top of the covers.;)
Hope you are well.;)
xoxo

angela said...

hahah snowbrush I am so happy you didnt have to resort to murder. he is such a sweet little kitty. lol

Robin said...

"Lotta Joy's" comment is PURRFECT!
Brewsky always KNOWS what he is doing...and how to get his way when *Dad* has other plans!

Snow...I adore this photo of him...he is so beautiful! (But those eyes are full of *devious mischief*!)

Love to all,

♥ Robin ♥

p.s. Love the colour of the blanket! My favourite!

Phoenix said...

Pavlov's Brewski!

Also: hi, I hope you are doing well, and I am wishing you a wonderful Thanksgiving. :)

Kendal Rooney said...

I relate to this times 3. I've had cats in mylife constantly for 25 years. First Jaz for 19, so many things I think of now I wish I had then. She was my first cat I had until death. I got her at 3 weeks old. I only went 2 1/2 months until our 3 current, almost 6 now. I've learned more about cats in the last year then all the rest of my life.

I was one of those guardians that treated them not according to feline pride instincts but human instincts.Protect the weakest, not necessarily bad, but I needed to allow them to find their own place in the pride. It made for some tough times. I finally realized I needed to let them to be cats.

Fast forward to the past 7, big yard, plenty of time spent outside. Watching, learning not to panic. Once I started getting down to their level I was able to change my behavior. Now I only step in if they are getting too angry or one is giving the submissive signs and the other isn't stopping. No anger, just calmly getting in between them. Then I pet them both with a soothing voice. I am the head of the pride, so they obey. Most of the time. They are more well adjusted now then ever. You know the saying, so goes the Mom goes the family lol. Glad you found a way with Brewski!

Snowbrush said...

"I was one of those guardians that treated them not according to feline pride instincts but human instincts."

You're in a different world. For all I know, Brewsky just thinks he's another kind of human because he hasn't been near another cat since he was a kitten. He sees them outside the window and gets awfully excited, but he seems to get excited easily, and he also sees much fewer cats than he does dogs and squirrels.