She all but slammed me into the wall!


Every time I go the dentist, whichever hygienist I get gives me hell about the coffee stains on my teeth. Some of them get so worked up, that I expect them to burst forth in sermon, something along the lines of, “Your teeth are a personal affront to God Almighty, and I’m going to make you give up your 14-hour a day coffee habit or know the reason why—praise the Lord.” 

It’s a source of wonder to me that these women care so much—a lot more than I do. All I care about is leaving that place without spending a thousand or more dollars in expiation for the sins of my childhood and my decades of life. As for looks, stained teeth are my last problem in that area, but I guess it makes sense that teeth would be what a dental hygienist would complain about, and, come to think of it, it would hurt my feelings if they criticized my thinning hair and old age spots the way they criticize my teeth.

17 comments:

PhilipH said...

Well Snowy, look at it like this: You're OLDER than your teeth so they should show a bit more respect!

lotta joy said...

We're having dental armagheddon here. The dentist insists that Stud get the $20,000 teeth (this would replace only ten of his teeth) and Stud is insisting on a $2,000 bridge because we don't HAVE $20,000! And I'm scheduled for oral surgery in April and they insist on PREPAYMENT since they don't accept ANY insurance!! I didn't know you had to be rich in order to have teeth.

Snowbrush said...

I went back today to get prep work for three crowns. While working on one of them, the dentist announced that I needed root canal, so he sent me straight on over to an endodondist. I've spent five hours in one dental chair or another today (my root canal took a long time because I have a "curvy root"). The good thing about having experienced a lot of pain over the years, is that it helps me with patience and keeping things in perspective. The endodontist complimented me effusively on how well I did, but he still charged $1,318.

Yes, Lotta, I've wondered why Stud was going to do about those teeth.

You're right, Philip, I am older than my teeth. I hadn't thought about that. I hope they're not like the canary in the coad mine.

Sonia Rodriguez said...

I hope all is well again now with your teeth, even though they sucked you dry in expenses. xoxo

Chartreuse said...

Oh my god. Yet another reason why we are so lucky to be living in Australia! As Age Pensioners (i.e. old enough to be Social Security recipients, but as our system is means tested we also have to qualify as not overly rich), we are entitled to free dental treatment at a government dental clinic. OK, so there's often a bit of a wait. So we opt to go to our own private dentist, where our health insurance pays a good proportion of each year's dental bills. How is it the richest country in the world is so stingy toward its own people????

kj said...

A root canal? Oh shudder. I need gas for a filling. Otherwise I could damage the dental equipment

Your dentist's office sounds matronly. But I'll those women don't lecture everyone like they do you. I'll bet you like it :-)

Love
kj

The Elephant's Child said...

I am not a fan of the dental brigade. One of our dentists was missing the top joint from his index finger and I always wondered whether a patient had bitten if off. I should have asked.
I recently had a wisdom tooth removed, and MS means that dental anaesthesia doesn't work for me. Yes, experience with pain helped - but it wasn't a fun time.

Marion said...

Well, I love my periodontist's assistants. They gas me up the minute I sit in the chair and it's well worth the extra $30. I call them all Atilla the Hun. They've been helping me keep all of my teeth for about 20 years now. I probably could have taken a trip around the world twice with what I've paid him. I have to go every 3 months (gum disease runs in the family) but it's worth it. I had to go borrow the money it took for that first series of four deep cleanings back in the early 90's. It's why I still have all my teeth.

And Snow, you can get Colgate Whitening Strips for under $30 at any drug store and whiten your teeth if you so desire. (I can stand ANY pain except for the dental kind. Thank God for laughing gas.) xo

Charles Gramlich said...

Whenever I go to a new dentist I get questions about the coffee stains on the back of my teeth. I don't drink coffee. They are there from childhood and from drinking iron rich water.

Snowbrush said...

"Your dentist's office sounds matronly."

I see it as young and bitchy.

Thanks, Sonia.

"How is it the richest country in the world is so stingy toward its own people????"

Republicans, which are America's conservative party. The one thing they never question spending money on is the military, and I don't mean veterans; I mean the active military, especially high tech bombs and drones and fighter planes that never seem to fly.

Child, are you saying that you can't take anything for the pain?

"Thank God for laughing gas."

I started getting it when I was in the sixth grade, and I loved it. I loved it a lot. What chance the dentist had of getting me to brush my teeth was lost when he introduced me to nitrous oxide. Now, I don't even take a shot of the dentist doesn't insist, at which time I suggest that he err on the side of too little rather than too much. I do feel the pain at times, but it's over so fast that I rarely never it.

"They are there from childhood and from drinking iron rich water."

From Arkansas, as I recall. I used to have some stains that were caused by some drug I took. When I was in my 40s, it finally occurred to some dentist to do something about them (I assumed they were hopeless), and I was very happy to get rid of those because they looked like cavities and were on the front of my front teeth.

Strayer said...

My teeth are going to rot out one at a time. I can't find a dentist that takes the dirt poor. I have no money. I'm scrounging dental tools on ebay and amazon and reading a book called "Where there are no dentists". They lay on the costs like no other semi professional.

The Elephant's Child said...

Dental anaesthesia doesn't work. Or at best, takes the very sharpest edge off. My dental practise doesn't have gas. If I know they are going to do significant work I take some codeine before I go in. The wisdom tooth was unexpected. I went in to have a filling replaced, and as she removed it the tooth broke - irrepairably. Not fun.

CreekHiker / HollysFolly said...

I feel like the coffee I drink keeps me alive so if I have a few stains to show for it... so be it!

The Queen said...

I drop my teeth in a glass of "stain away" and tell the hygienist to place her lips on my lower hips. That is the best stuff ever made.

And, with dentures,, you can mail em in.. don't even have to deal with the hygienist!

hyperCRYPTICal said...

Oh, how I hate (and dread) going to the dentists - would rather go through three weeks of labour pains...

Only go when I must - toothache - which luckily is not often...funny when I do they find lots that need treating...wonder if the fees have anything to do with this...

Anna :o]

ellen abbott said...

I think it has to do with our Hollywood approach to beauty. Men are supposed to be muscular, tanned, with a full head of hair; women are supposed to be young, blond, with blemish free skin and enormous boobs; and all of us are supposed to have unnaturally white and perfectly straight teeth.

Myrna R. said...

I hate the dentist. So far, no one has criticized any coffee stains. But that would't matter to me. Coffee is my drug of choice and I wouldn't give it up.