tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23830899.post6764373205090811465..comments2024-03-27T12:58:00.592-07:00Comments on Snowbrush: Why not die?Snowbrushhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00436087215476479042noreply@blogger.comBlogger38125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23830899.post-17566782308166212852009-11-26T12:35:19.639-08:002009-11-26T12:35:19.639-08:00I'm so pleased Jackie reached out to you. Your...I'm so pleased Jackie reached out to you. Your response contained much wisdom. I've just read your later entry too...about the surgery...all my best to you dear man for a painfree recovery from this one.Chrisyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01954004833710064612noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23830899.post-80234886521516505002009-11-21T15:35:46.724-08:002009-11-21T15:35:46.724-08:00...and i think you should add this...
"If yo......and i think you should add this...<br /><br />"If you really want people to think about you A LOT after you are dead, just tell them you’re thinking about killing yourself, and then kill yourself. If you want them to remember you their whole lives long as if you had JUST died, that will do it. Believe me, they will NEVER get over your death. My friend, Kathleen, has been dead thirty years, and I still haven’t run out of tears."<br /><br />...because THAT's the ultimate truth about suicide, it IS a way out but not for those left behind<br /><br />(((hugs)))nollyposhhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13205974328143335552noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23830899.post-91585039809624474232009-11-19T10:56:34.805-08:002009-11-19T10:56:34.805-08:00I found your blog via the "next blog" op...I found your blog via the "next blog" option and I have to say, it caught my attention. I've lost friends to suicide and as you said, they will be remembered every minute of every day for the rest of my life.<br /><br />I've been on the edge of the dark place several times... and it always comes back to a promise I made to a counselor when I was a teen... I promised that if I made the decision to kill myself, I would not do it when it was dark outside. Somehow, no matter how dark it was the night before, how sad/mad/angry/depressed the world seemed, it was always not quite as bad when the sun was up.<br /><br />He told me, as you said, that suicide is a valid option. Others who have not been there may not agree with that statement, but it is one option, but there are so many others. I hope your friend can see her way out of the dark place and get the help she needs (be it professional, pharmaceutical, friends whatever) to know she is valuable and valued.Donnahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15893918716122673730noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23830899.post-43610801411036225772009-11-17T00:24:28.134-08:002009-11-17T00:24:28.134-08:00I supposed I would have answered her letter differ...I supposed I would have answered her letter differently from you. That's only because we're different people. <br /><br />What I really like about your letter is that you were honest about your own feelings and experiences, and your took her expression of her feelings seriously. Full marks for doing both of those.<br /><br />My experience is that I have had a couple of really good councilors, and few really good friends. It is the combination that has helped me.<br />Plus some really good drugs.Rob-bearhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00171692478879522588noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23830899.post-33285996667485368572009-11-14T21:13:53.795-08:002009-11-14T21:13:53.795-08:00You know Snow I don't always agree with how yo...You know Snow I don't always agree with how you don't honor your vows of marriage but I do think you have a special gift and I really respect how you spoke to this lady. You know as well as I do that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem..I feel so sad for her but am proud of you and how you addressed her emotions at this time.<br />I am truly sorry Snow but sometimes you amaze me with your brillance and sometimes you disgust me with your solutions, I am not critizing I am only expressing how I feel....:-) hugsBerniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03024565921761129108noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23830899.post-35301025466774809322009-11-12T04:46:31.145-08:002009-11-12T04:46:31.145-08:00I think everyone's first instinct is to attemp...I think everyone's first instinct is to attempt to talk a potential suicide out of it and tell him/her life is worth living and all that drivel that they have heard before. I'm not saying life isn't worth living, but someone seriously considering suicide is probably beyond accepting that it is.<br /><br />I am wondering if the person had any physical problems. I had a friend who used to have horrible crying fits, sitting on the floor in a corner, feeling hopeless, and talking about killing herself. Her pre-teen daughter would call me, but nothing she or I did would help. We finally figured out that this was happening on a regular cycle ---it was PMS.<br /><br />You probably took the right tone by frankly telling your friend your thoughts and starting her thinking without encouraging nor dissuading her.<br /><br />I can't imagine how people are able to survive the most hopeless of conditions (for example, in a concentration camp) without killing themselves, but many of us have a strong will to survive even the worst of conditions. And yet, we are so fragile, that even a small setback does some of us in.<br /><br />Besides the need for survival, we all need to have feelings of belonging and love, to feel like we have the power to control our lives, freedom to make choices, to have some fun, and we all need hope for the future. Some of us are in more need of one or more of these than others. Understanding which is/are your own greatest need(s) will help you know what motivates you. <br /><br />I would guess that thoughts of suicide start when one sees that one's motivating need is not being met ---and if none of these needs are being met and that there is little hope for that changing in the future, one sinks into total despair. <br /><br />I used to do some mediation and I think I would have used some of the questioning techniques I used to use, mainly trying to find out what the person wants or needs and helping him/her figure out how to get it and creating a workable plan to do that. That might give the person enough hope to carry on.C Woodshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13053858627632648020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23830899.post-50789440487144757082009-11-11T00:41:34.886-08:002009-11-11T00:41:34.886-08:00I am seriously behind in responding to comments, a...I am seriously behind in responding to comments, and don't know that I will catch up with more than a few that especially seem to call for a response. If you expected a response, and I did not give it, please let me know. No slight was intended.<br /><br />Becky, I didn't know your mother has ALS (or that you live in fear of it), and I am awfully sorry. I sat with both of my parents as they died, but was spared giving the personal care that can go with a prolonged illness.<br /><br />Marion, I was likewise grieved to learn that your daughter committed suicide. I've never had children, so I can't relate to the loss of a child much less to one who takes her own life. I can but say how very sorry I am.<br /><br />Margaret: "Snow, your email will do"<br /><br />Thank you, Margaret. I had to laugh when I read this because it reminded me (for no good reason, I am sure) of a line from the movie "Babe." That was a great movie in case you haven't seen it.<br /><br />Lakeviewer "I'm not sure what else to tell Jackie."<br /><br />I did later think to suggest anti-depressants as an option. I've been on Elavil, Prozac, Welbutrin, Zoloft, and Lexapro, and can vouch for the efficacy of at least some of them--different ones work better or worse for different people. Just because a person takes them doesn't mean that he or she has to keep taking them--they can be used simply as a useful bridge across some of the deeper waters.<br /><br />CreekHiker: "I fear "messing it up" just enough that I would survive yet never be the same'<br /><br />Peggy's aunt shot herself twice--on different occasions, and ended up a quadriplegic the second time, and I know of a man who even survived a shotgun blast to the face, so your fears are reasonable but not insurmountable. For example, Meriwether Lewis shot himself simultaneously in the heart and the head, and I can imagine a person using a gun, an overdose, and carbon monoxide all at once, or else jumping off a 500 foot cliff. <br /><br />Diana: "not everyone is strong inside."<br /><br />No, some people kill themselves for reasons that would seem trifling to a stronger person. Yet, if the first person had held on, he or she might well have discovered strengths they didn't know they possessed. Such has been my case.<br /><br />Geek: "I've been thinking of it [suicide] every once in a while. Almost did it a couple of times."<br /><br />I'm very aware that you feel things deeply. Diana pointed out that stronger people survive better, but it's also true that an inordinate number of artistically and literarily gifted people take their own lives because their exquisite sensitivity makes them more vulnerable. If you die, all that you might have given the world dies with you. May you live. Please.<br /><br />Lydia and Pink Dogwood, I was sorry to learn of the deaths of your cousins.Snowbrushhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00436087215476479042noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23830899.post-4494589685334536992009-11-10T16:01:26.115-08:002009-11-10T16:01:26.115-08:00Wonderful response to a difficult email/cry for he...Wonderful response to a difficult email/cry for help! <br />As I watch my mother suffer horribly while she dies from ALS/Lou Gehrig's disease... I have been thinking about suicide recently... wondering what I will do if I come down with the disease in the future... endure this same suffering, or take the easy way out. Time will tell. Until then, I will enjoy every good breath and try to ease her suffering.<br />Love & Light,<br />OM girl<br />P.S. Thanks for stopping by my photo blog and leaving an occasional comment! You are a dear!Beckyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11288245990832705329noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23830899.post-78501031213458344942009-11-09T07:19:11.943-08:002009-11-09T07:19:11.943-08:00Snow, I,too, would seek your opinion about most an...Snow, I,too, would seek your opinion about most anything and I can't think of anything I would add to your response to "Jackie."<br /><br />I've lost a couple of cousins to suicide as well, and still can't believe that they each took their own life and didn't feel they had any other recourse.<br /><br />My prayers go out to Jackie. I hope she maintains contact with you.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16813508472498593787noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23830899.post-75160064232525119742009-11-09T06:37:50.394-08:002009-11-09T06:37:50.394-08:00Good Lord, I don't know how I would have answe...Good Lord, I don't know how I would have answered that email. Your response was unusual and that is probably one of the reasons why she reached out to you more the fact that she senses you are a caring person. I hope she listened to you and decided on living. <br />Very commendable of you to reply in such wayA Plain Observerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03741520771592669741noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23830899.post-53879770027825336582009-11-09T06:06:51.316-08:002009-11-09T06:06:51.316-08:00Thank you dear friend. I am wishing you a pain-fr...Thank you dear friend. I am wishing you a pain-free day and since I know that is not likely, a day with much less pain.<br /><br />Love Renee xoxoReneehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11785932958464359112noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23830899.post-10962077667832226172009-11-08T10:26:57.414-08:002009-11-08T10:26:57.414-08:00An excellent post...and letter to Jackie. I rather...An excellent post...and letter to Jackie. I rather like your imagining what may happen after suicide takes place.<br /><br />All I know is...once a person in one's family or friendships has committed suicide, it tells others in the same group it is ok to do so. It can be a vicious cycle.For this reason, suicide will never be an option for me. I simply will not do that to my family and friends...the victims left behind.<br /><br />My daughter was taken by suicide eleven years ago this December. <br /><br />"I still haven’t run out of tears." Me, either.Marionhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00607220451457829777noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23830899.post-56737478968800882009-11-08T09:41:38.222-08:002009-11-08T09:41:38.222-08:00Yes, Snow, your email will do it, will give Jackie...Yes, Snow, your email will do it, will give Jackie a new, more positive way to look at her life and reason to live. Along with the common sense, you've reached out to her with warmth, caring, kindness.Margaret Pangerthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09995968579194433270noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23830899.post-49396167039978426762009-11-06T19:03:25.064-08:002009-11-06T19:03:25.064-08:00Snow, she chose you for a reason, to be talked out...Snow, she chose you for a reason, to be talked out of that decision. When we feel so bad that we consider the final exit strategy, we need comfort and a reason to live. You were clear, candid and logical.<br /><br />I'm not sure what else to tell Jackie.Rosaria Williamshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03133147851332084180noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23830899.post-36949774062447251922009-11-06T17:02:36.069-08:002009-11-06T17:02:36.069-08:00Why not - well, for me it comes down to this word:...Why not - well, for me it comes down to this word: <br />be-cause; be and cause, because...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23830899.post-69800878203662183382009-11-06T16:06:47.776-08:002009-11-06T16:06:47.776-08:00Wow. You are on my blog roll and I feel silly beca...Wow. You are on my blog roll and I feel silly because i cannot remember since when. I add so many people then don't get the time to visit much. I am glad you are there though as you are obviously a wise and caring person and it is always good to read the writings of such people! Your reply to Jackie is so lovely and I hope it had a good effect on her. I spoke to a woman at work this week to express sympathy for her father's death and she told me straight away that he had commited suicide. It was such a shock and made me feel for her so much-more so than if he had died in another way. <br />I am glad to have visited you tonight so I could read this.Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15941415622199071141noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23830899.post-20828360893624104172009-11-06T12:38:23.455-08:002009-11-06T12:38:23.455-08:00Oh wow. I like the way you said that. It spun me a...Oh wow. I like the way you said that. It spun me around a little but yeah, it was honest and who amongst us hasn't considered it at some point. I hope she read this post and what you wrote before the letter too. <br /><br />xMichellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00816138640432897870noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23830899.post-25767479519020205692009-11-06T10:31:04.869-08:002009-11-06T10:31:04.869-08:00Very thought provoking. I've had my own dark t...Very thought provoking. I've had my own dark thoughts and never once considered what may or may not come after. That and the fact that I fear "messing it up" just enough that I would survive yet never be the same scares the hell out of me! I had that happen to an acquaintance...he has just enough brain damage that he's aware of all the pain he caused to his family, his body and career. It's sad...CreekHiker / HollysFollyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14987597104795294851noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23830899.post-91700533040988341822009-11-06T07:07:58.840-08:002009-11-06T07:07:58.840-08:00I concur with what my guardian angel, Renee, said....I concur with what my guardian angel, Renee, said. You are an amazing human being, Snow. This gave me much to think about and ponder upon in my own life. I love you, too. You're a great friend to have. <br /><br />Also, may "Jackie" look to God or the Universe for strength, also. Blessings...Marionhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14786883679294446945noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23830899.post-22892400074588902009-11-06T06:48:16.361-08:002009-11-06T06:48:16.361-08:00Thats how I feel. That responsibility is part of t...Thats how I feel. That responsibility is part of the thought process of should ya or should not. Im too responsible..LOL..Thank you Snow xoxoxoxox Love ya sweet manAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11456151120093929991noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23830899.post-18439562331621240032009-11-06T06:41:34.750-08:002009-11-06T06:41:34.750-08:00I think Jackie is a very lucky woman to have a fri...I think Jackie is a very lucky woman to have a friend who takes the time to go through the practicalities of this difficult subject. I like the mix of practicality and warmth in your response, nothing over-emotional which could feed an already taut situation.<br /><br />I popped over from Renee's blog just because I was intrigued by your response. I'm glad I stopped by. xxJJoshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04681996675508746353noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23830899.post-64395088230026507392009-11-06T06:25:33.454-08:002009-11-06T06:25:33.454-08:00Very insightful Snow. I'm wondering about the ...Very insightful Snow. I'm wondering about the psychiatrists at Fort Hood.Maybe Jackie can find a "peer" support group. The right group can be a life saverJoe Toddhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07960458164425338569noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23830899.post-40578517473096694622009-11-06T06:09:45.272-08:002009-11-06T06:09:45.272-08:00I think that you did a good job Snow. I really don...I think that you did a good job Snow. I really don't have a clue as to what I would have said. <br />My outlook on life is that I was never promised that it would be easy.<br />I am a survivor and a fighter and most times, not all ways, but most times this is enough to get me through.<br />But you know Snow, not everyone is strong inside. You did well with your words. Better than I am doing now!<br /> Love Di<br />P.S. I did ask for your opinion on the Synvisc shot!Dianahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11429812875586479256noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23830899.post-69386249140950501052009-11-06T05:31:14.585-08:002009-11-06T05:31:14.585-08:00I know enough on the subject myself to last me a l...I know enough on the subject myself to last me a lifetime, from both my own and others experiences. <br /><br />I am credited by both herself and her then partner with once saving the life of a suicidal mentally ill good friend. For me, I don't think of it like that as it makes me sound like some kind of heroine when I just helped my friend when she needed it. She had tried a few times before in different ways. I very much empathise with your own experience of suicidal thoughts, tendancies, I have been there many times over the years and stared over the edge and therefore I understood exactly why she wanted to go and respected her choice, but had no intention of letting her go whilst I was sat there, I would have moved heaven and hell to save her though I fully understood she might hate me for doing so. <br /><br />It seems alot of my close friends have at some point been in so much mental/physical or both pain that they stand on the edge saring into that abyss. None have yet jumped and I pray none do. <br /><br />For myself I am still here for similar reasons to yours. I could not do that to my parents, and I would have left behind a torrent of misery with my good friends that doesn't bear thinking about. I don't mean to sound imodest, I would be devastated to lose them too.<br /><br />Your letter was really well thought out and if it were I in that poor girls position I know I would be grateful for those words. <br /><br />I can't think why anyone wouldn't ask your advice, you are a wise and lateral thinker who comes across as honest to the bone in his opinions. Which in itself can be a reason not to for some I guess, sometimes people don't actually want to hear the truth. Also I know many people who are incredibly approachable online but offline not so much if at all mcuh to their chagrine heh. <br /><br />Oh yes, and the friend written of earlier is now stable and happier than I've ever seen her I think.<br /><br />Thought-inducing post, made me shed a tear or two, excellently written as ever. xxAll Consuminghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03089119991474852732noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23830899.post-54777014318504110062009-11-06T04:46:27.907-08:002009-11-06T04:46:27.907-08:00Thanks for posting your thoughts on suicide here. ...Thanks for posting your thoughts on suicide here. I've been thinking of it every once in a while. Almost did it a couple of times.<br /><br />Your words made me think, actually. I just want to say to Jackie, that dwelling on dark suicidal thoughts isn't a good life. Yeah, it's hard to get away from it if it feels like it's the only option. But even though it feels like it, it doesn't mean that it really is the only option.<br /><br />I hope she felt better after receiving your mail. I'm sure I did.Kerthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17146666763404548871noreply@blogger.com