tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23830899.post5064073560078485674..comments2024-03-14T15:03:56.066-07:00Comments on Snowbrush: Some results of chronic painSnowbrushhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00436087215476479042noreply@blogger.comBlogger59125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23830899.post-68194857783733792122015-10-13T11:10:12.862-07:002015-10-13T11:10:12.862-07:00Snow,
You have expressed so well the things I feel...Snow,<br />You have expressed so well the things I feel and some things I never knew I felt. I tried to email you this summer, but none of your emails where I wrote to you seemed to work. Email me and I can reply.Lindahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14991571309786149363noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23830899.post-10313858877999316052015-10-04T18:46:14.313-07:002015-10-04T18:46:14.313-07:00I hope they find something that works for you soon...I hope they find something that works for you soon. Chronic pain is difficult to treat because you don't know what will work and trial and error takes so long when you're in pain. Wishing you the best in finding something that works.Ginnyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11686450030075980690noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23830899.post-68317264981800892932015-09-24T19:39:16.646-07:002015-09-24T19:39:16.646-07:00I have many times wanted to suggest chiropractic t...I have many times wanted to suggest chiropractic to you, maybe i actually did but i had to back away from that idea so now that it might be back on the table, i j ust want to encourage you to give it a shot so long as it's safe. and the chiro is the best person to determine that.<br /><br />I always wish you well, snow and i do againkyliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08964475783207438103noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23830899.post-23639454631901665312015-09-23T12:24:29.650-07:002015-09-23T12:24:29.650-07:00“~~ thinking of you this morning.”
My response di...“~~ thinking of you this morning.”<br /><br />My response didn’t get copied over—Thanks, Helen.Snowbrushhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00436087215476479042noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23830899.post-40613262960182599502015-09-23T12:20:59.117-07:002015-09-23T12:20:59.117-07:00“Mindfulness now is miles away from the Vipassana ...“Mindfulness now is miles away from the Vipassana of back then, but, as you have tried the original,”<br /><br />As I understand it, it’s capsulated in Ram Dass’ words, “Be Here Now.” Therefore, if you’re washing dishes, wash dishes; don’t watch TV and wash dishes. If you’re walking, walk; don’t make plans for your vacation and walk. Do one thing at a time, and pay attention to that one thing, because otherwise, you’re living someplace other than where you are. Am I right?<br /><br />“but for myself, talking to others who have the same ailments is not therapeutic at all. I find it brings me down every time.”<br /><br />It takes me out of myself and enables me to remember that I’m not the only one in the world who’s suffering, and that I’m far from the worst sufferer. Just know that what I’m talking about is reporting rather than grousing because the latter amounts to wallowing in misery, and while it’s bearable for awhile, it’s a hard diet to live on. Personally, I love hearing about your troubles because if you gloss over them, it makes our relationship seem unreal. I recall one reader saying that you bummed her out. Well, tough shit. Being friends is about more than sharing the good times.<br /><br />“I don't recall ever finding them of use. I don't find writing about it in my blog useful either, other than to update folks on what's going on in one fell swoop, rather than repeat myself.”<br /><br />It has been my mainstay because I think I bore people when I’m talking, but no one is a captive when I’m writing, so if it displeases them, they can always go away and come back when I write about something else, and I would prefer that they do that rather than to comment when it’s obvious that they merely scanned the post. As for being repetitive, that’s as boring to the speaker as to the listener, and has led me to hate being asked how I am, and to lead me to value writing over talking.<br /><br />“Also, everyone always sounds so sad when I do”<br /><br />I hate that too because pity is alienating. It divides people into the categories of I’m OKAY and I’m NOT OKAY, with the result that the former feels superior to—or at least luckier than—the latter. What a horrible thing to see someone and have them say to themselves, “I”m so glad I’m not you.”<br /><br />“Unlike a group of patients, a therapist is good for me because they have no baggage to share”<br /><br />It’s possible that I too would find therapy supremely useful. I met a therapist at a party 30 years ago. I never saw him again, but I liked him so well that I emailed him a few months ago to ask if he would take me on. He said that he worked for cash only (instead of insurance), so that left me out, and caused me to think it was better to avoid him anyway because when professionals do that, they eliminate everyone who isn’t wealthy, which I interpret to mean that they’re more into money than helping people. I have serious issues with therapists because I’ve had some who left me far worse off than when I started. It’s a relationship that involves one-way vulnerability, and it would be very hard for me to go to a therapist or to trust a therapist. I would even say that I hate their profession. I also think, based upon the many I’ve known professionally or as friends, that I’m probably less screwed-up than most got them, and the idea of going to someone who is worse-off than myself lacks appeal.<br /><br />“My own shoulder issues have me terrified that life is just over…”<br /><br />I know the feeling, but I don’t remember if you have a diagnosis. A torn rotator cuff sounds like a likely problem, and if you let it go too long without getting it fixed, the tendon will sever, the ends will draw apart, and it won’t be fixable. Blue ice packs help the pain enormously, and sleeping in a recliner might also help the pain. You have my email, so write if you need to.<br /><br />“~~ thinking of you this morning.”Snowbrushhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00436087215476479042noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23830899.post-85517874272483342882015-09-20T08:44:16.724-07:002015-09-20T08:44:16.724-07:00~~ thinking of you this morning.~~ thinking of you this morning.Helenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16619199535376925989noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23830899.post-34965398270074879672015-09-19T16:31:51.167-07:002015-09-19T16:31:51.167-07:00Oh Snowy, I feel your pain! My own shoulder issues...Oh Snowy, I feel your pain! My own shoulder issues have me terrified that life is just over...what I wouldn't give to be pain free <br />CreekHiker / HollysFollyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14987597104795294851noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23830899.post-36389366021786464632015-09-19T07:47:14.220-07:002015-09-19T07:47:14.220-07:00"I’ve always been a person who could do more ..."I’ve always been a person who could do more than he thought he could." - Me too, and I also wonder at things I have achieved afterwards. I wonder if I really managed it. <br /><br />Mindfulness now is miles away from the Vipassana of back then, but, as you have tried the original, the updated might not be for you either. <br /><br /> "I will just point out that chronic pain sufferers probably gain more from relating to one another than to a therapist (of course, there’s nothing wrong with doing both)." - there are a lot of help groups out there, but for myself, talking to others who have the same ailments is not therapeutic at all. I find it brings me down every time. Perhaps its because I've had these ailments for so long, but I don't recall ever finding them of use. I don't find writing about it in my blog useful either, other than to update folks on what's going on in one fell swoop, rather than repeat myself. Also, everyone always sounds so sad when I do, (what do I expect, balloons and a parade eh? Hahahahaha). Unlike a group of patients, a therapist is good for me because they have no baggage to share, they are going straight for the mental tools, showing me how to forge and use them to avoid the blackness, counter the pain. And also deal with how other people react to living with, or loving someone who has long term pain. <br /><br />I'm glad you don't berate yourself anymore, for its' a rod your back doesn't need honey. But of you change your mind at any point, I'll send Peggy a hair shirt (courtesy of Lardy), and some good strong birch twigs to slap you with. <br /><br />" No one short of Peggy has helped me so much as you, and I thank you. Fortunately, I found you years ago." - this is so lovely, I am hugely touched, and grateful to have found you, my favourite Curmudgeony Bastard. *hugs him* XxxAll Consuminghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03089119991474852732noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23830899.post-88814999210151835932015-09-16T11:04:48.596-07:002015-09-16T11:04:48.596-07:00“And I'm not saying that you'd be wrong no...“And I'm not saying that you'd be wrong not to try it, because I'm not sat in your chair or Peggy's right now.”<br /><br />I have thought about it, and I probably will again. Thank you. I will just point out that chronic pain sufferers probably gain more from relating to one another than to a therapist (of course, there’s nothing wrong with doing both). Back when I first started living in significant pain and, from my perspective, significant disability, I thought that there surely must be a formula that would enable to triumph over it, but I’ve since settled in for the long haul and accepted that I will never triumph over this, so it’s rather a case of adjusting to it, sort of like one might adjust when a storm knocks out the electricity for a prolonged period. It sucks while it’s happening, and it sucks in retrospect when the lights and heat come back on, but it is what it is, and there’s nothing to do but get through it. So far, it seems to me that you have more serious problems than I, and that you do better with them, yet it would make me crazy to live as you do because I so need to perform hard physical activity. About twelve ago, my left knee got bad enough that it was interfering with my ability to hike in the mountains, so I went in to have it “cleaned up” in the naive belief that this would enable to hike like always. Instead, the surgeon told me—during surgery, I had a spinal—that if he were me, he would never hike again. This was a very heavy blow to me, and things have only gotten worse and worse since then. At one point, this same surgeon said that, if I were a less active person, this knee problem just wouldn’t bother me all that much because it wouldn’t limit me in ways that I was unaccustomed to. I then reflected that the very people who are hurt the most by increasing incapacity are those who value extreme activity the most. I have a friend who broke her shoulder this week, and she can’t even see an orthopedist until Friday. She’s an extremely active retiree, and here she is in pain and unable to do any of the things that she values. When I saw her last night, she had gone from her customary calm self-assurance to acting as if she was about to jump out of her skin. It was very hard for me to be with her for even a few minutes, maybe because I’ve been where she is, and maybe because she could no more listen to me than if I weren’t even there. I’ve since adjusted somewhat, but I very much doubt that I will ever do as well as you. You’ve been a major encouragement to me, but I’ve always doubted that I would be doing as well in your situation as I am in mine. I used to berate myself for not being stronger, but we’re all different people with our various strengths and weaknesses, and while we can all do things that we would have once considered impossible, we’re still strengthened and limited by who we are. No one short of Peggy has helped me so much as you, and I thank you. Fortunately, I found you years ago.Snowbrushhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00436087215476479042noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23830899.post-75891980609681754662015-09-16T11:04:32.488-07:002015-09-16T11:04:32.488-07:00“I think you'd get some benefit from talking t...“I think you'd get some benefit from talking to someone”<br /><br />Well, there is my blog. I know you meant someone professional, but I have no thought whatsoever that such a person would do me nearly as much good as writing.<br /><br />“perhaps some CBT would help”<br /><br />I can only guess…Curmudgeony Bastard Therapy? Okay, I looked it up—Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. I wrote this list while at a low. I am now at a high, having finished my fence yesterday (except for the gate, which is small potatoes since it doesn’t involve heavy digging and doesn’t impact my neighbor). The pain is still very much there, but the work helped both it and my attitude toward life. I would guess that the Lexapro is also helping. I wouldn’t say never to therapy, but I would say probably never.<br /><br />“I don't know the options in your area so far as speaking to someone about either, or both”<br /><br />Eugene is overrun with counselors and meditation instructors of one kind or another, including mindfulness, which also goes by the name Vipassana. Nearly three decades ago, I went to a weekly Vipassana meeting.<br /><br />“if you could focus on the abilities you still have”<br /><br />Yes, I can still write, and I still retain the ability to build a good fence among other things. Sometimes, I look at the things I’ve done, and wonder how I ever did them, but then I remember that I didn’t know how I would do them even when I started doing them. For instance, three or four years ago, Peggy and I built a roofed deck out back. The project was small enough, but it did present some challenges that I can now see that I handled very well. In So it is that I do well at making up solutions as I go along (I also learn well from books, which is something my father couldn’t do). My limits at this point are more physical than mental, and it’s also true that I’ve always been a person who could do more than he thought he could. Back when I worked with my father, he made the comment that I just needed to believe in my abilities to do carpentry, plumbing, electrical work, and so forth. This was and still is true, but few of us ever hit the exact right spot between caution and optimism, and there are downfalls to a surfeit of either. I used to think how grand it would be to be an optimist, and then I noticed that optimists tend to run into all kinds of problems that I easily avoid. For instance, they don’t take signs of ill health seriously; they don’t save enough money; they’re more likely to have confidence in people who don’t deserve it. I heard a Holocaust survivor say that it was the optimistic Jews who stayed in fascist controlled Europe during the thirties while the pessimists fled to America. Peggy tends to have less confidence than I do, so when we work together I take the lead in planning and in the skilled use of tools, while she watches everything I do and points out mistakes. Since she’s an unabashed perfectionist who is very, very good at spotting even minor mistakes, this often creates a problem because I interpret it to mean that she doesn’t believe in me. This project went unusually well for us. (cont)Snowbrushhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00436087215476479042noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23830899.post-32856880652379752872015-09-16T07:11:24.795-07:002015-09-16T07:11:24.795-07:00That's a long list, and I think you'd get ...That's a long list, and I think you'd get some benefit from talking to someone, perhaps some CBT would help. I say this because I began CBT with Mindfulness (I've had CBT several times and my brain does well with it). I'm crap at meditating, but it isn't the meditation part that helped. It stops you thinking of a negative future, and dwelling on past pain too. When we do that, and compare how we were to how we are, and what we might become, we are practising being deeply unhappy. And getting towards a diploma. It's the intensive thought patterns you have that made me think of it, and the fact that it's helped me enormously too. I don't know the options in your area so far as speaking to someone about either, or both, but I'd definitely give it a shot if I were you. <br /><br />This whole post, and the comment replies, are in themselves a monument to how brilliantly you can still write. If you could take away the comparison to how you were, and just have this post, so well written, so many sharp answers, you'd be less hurt. I know that isn't a magic wand, and there's every chance you're a special case, and who knows what will work for one, but not another...but if you could focus on the abilities you still have (and that's only going to happen with help, because we get very, very set in our minds as we age), then your mental pain would decrease, and the technical stresses that thinking about grim things have on your body (tensing a great deal without even realising it), would help with the physical pain a good bit too I think. <br /><br />It would be absolutely true to say that if you don't think it would help, it won't. And I'm not saying that you'd be wrong not to try it, because I'm not sat in your chair or Peggy's right now. But think about it. And as others have said, take heart in the possibility that you may feel a little relief once the drug has bedded in too. <br /><br />I feel for you deeply sweetheart, and Peggy too. The love you have, from home and around you here too is so warm, and continues to be so. You are loved. And that's something to hug and hold onto when the worst spikes come. Here is some of it - Love you Snow XxxAll Consuminghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03089119991474852732noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23830899.post-3533443200806293772015-09-15T09:45:30.320-07:002015-09-15T09:45:30.320-07:00Earlier this week, a very active friend who is 70 ...Earlier this week, a very active friend who is 70 fell down and broke her shoulder. She already speaks of being impatient with her convalescence and unable to do any of the many things she loves. She has no idea what a long road is before her, one that she might very well never reach the end of short of death.<br /><br />“i was thinking more about mindfulness for depression but i guess the principle is the same. embrace it rather than push it away.”<br /><br />The idea of a person embracing pain doesn’t seem genuine to me. I’m sure the acceptance prayer used in AA (I think Tillich wrote it) makes a lot of sense, but it seems to me that acceptance and embracement are worlds apart.<br /><br />“I have been gone a while”<br /><br />Your absence was noted. People wander in and out, and I seldom know why.<br /><br />“Had to go up to the mountains and bury my dad and my uncle and straighten some paperwork out. I am now the oldest in my family. That's a scary thought.”<br /><br />I’m sorry for your losses. Peggy and I are now the oldest people on our long block, and we’re the ones who have lived here the longest after losing three neighbors in their nineties last year. That too is uncomfortable. Seniors add to a person’s life, so what to do when that person IS the senior?<br /><br />“Was told when I was back in my 30s I would never walk again. I refused to accept that. I don't walk well or fast, but I am on my feet.”<br /><br />I’m very glad to hear it.<br /><br />“I fear addiction, so I put serious limits on my pain meds”<br /><br />I fear addiction too, but having regularly used many of the things that people commonly become addicted to, I realize that I don’t have an addictive personality. Of course, it would be foolish to feel smug about it.<br /><br />“I used to do Tai Chi until my knees decided to drop me to the floor and disrupt the class.”<br /><br />Because I like HARD work and HARD exercise, Tai Chi seemed like too little to me, but it at least gave me some exercise. I’m very sorry you had to give it up.<br /><br />“Hope you can find something to help... not a pill, not a smoke... but more like that natural high you get fixing the fence.”<br /><br />The one thing I always and desperately NEED pills for is sleep. I often need them during the day too, but if I didn’t take them at night, I would be tired all the time, which I pretty much am even with them.Snowbrushhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00436087215476479042noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23830899.post-28717378243829093132015-09-13T12:57:34.158-07:002015-09-13T12:57:34.158-07:00Wow Snowy, I have been gone a while and come back ...Wow Snowy, I have been gone a while and come back to this??? PHEW!<br />Had to go up to the mountains and bury my dad and my uncle and straighten some paperwork out. I am now the oldest in my family. That's a scary thought.<br />As you might remember (or not) I have lived with serious pain for years. Was told when I was back in my 30s I would never walk again. I refused to accept that. I don't walk well or fast, but I am on my feet. A friend is currently borrowing my wheel chair - he had a little accident with a chain saw... so I am being extra careful.<br /><br />I fear addiction, so I put serious limits on my pain meds, telling my doctor if I ask to have it increased, cut me off. I have lived with an addict and I have seen what it does. I fear that insanity more than the pain or being parked on wheels for the duration...<br /><br />I still work out in my yard as much as I can. Like you, the joy of doing something is a great high. For me it is a greater high than any drugs I have ever had.<br /><br />And you may remember I am a Buddhist... that has helped me keep it all in perspective. <br />I used to do Tai Chi until my knees decided to drop me to the floor and disrupt the class. So I do a bit of it here at home just to keep limber, but with a chair close by for that inevitable moment. <br /><br />I got suckered into going back to the college and teaching - just one day a week... but it has done wonders for my attitude. I will be 72 this week. Imagine! Don't think I could handle the stress of the younger ones anymore - or their parents - or the bullshit from the administration... but I can handle this. Best of all, I don't need a salary to survive. No pressure. <br /><br />Hope you can find something to help... not a pill, not a smoke... but more like that natural high you get fixing the fence. Nothing can beat it.<br /><br />possumhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03912443125826672230noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23830899.post-33158504784990307532015-09-13T10:10:56.750-07:002015-09-13T10:10:56.750-07:00i was thinking more about mindfulness for depressi...i was thinking more about mindfulness for depression but i guess the principle is the same. embrace it rather than push it away.billy pilgrimhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00128876723713271131noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23830899.post-53905541159874200582015-09-12T09:41:53.493-07:002015-09-12T09:41:53.493-07:00Billy Pilgrim, at your recommendation, I reserved ...Billy Pilgrim, at your recommendation, I reserved the jon kabat-zinn book on pain relief. Mindfulness mediation has been a big thing for thirty years. It's often called Vipassana, but it's the same thing.Snowbrushhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00436087215476479042noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23830899.post-66320543518065179432015-09-11T10:57:07.854-07:002015-09-11T10:57:07.854-07:00"You're in no position to agree or disagr..."You're in no position to agree or disagree with anything Snow has to say”.<br /><br />I feel for you, and I feel for Joe because I know that when I’m scared and hurting, it’s very, very hard sometimes for Peggy to say anything that doesn’t sound insensitive if not callous. From my point of view, not even drugs, adultery, and the demise of our group marriage, have challenged my marriage to Peggy so much as living in pain. Peggy complained recently that everything can be going along fine for us, but if she innocently says just one sentence that I don’t like, my mood goes over a cliff and stays there for hours or even days. This is true. I need more than anyone can give, so all I can do is to try to value what they can give. Just as it’s a challenge to live in pain, it’s a challenge to live with someone who is living in pain, and I don’t even think that such experiences that I have had with pain would qualify me to do the latter. The nearest I come is when Peggy has a three-day migraine. I give her credit for trying her best to keep going and to be pleasant, yet it’s obvious that she’s suffering a great deal, and this leaves me feeling confounded and helpless because I need so very much to fix her problem, and I can’t. I even feel guilty because I think that maybe something I did caused or exacerbated her headache. For instance, she’s now helping me on this fence project while in the midst of a three-day migraine that’s threatening to last beyond three days, and I can’t imagine but what this project is making it worse, and I blame myself for that. I would actually prefer that she stop working because I’m at a point where I could do everything myself, but she won’t do that, so the situation sucks for both of us. <br /><br />I have no thought that my pain is worse than—if even as bad as—what she’s now experiencing, but while I write this, she’s out walking up a local hill for aerobic exercise despite not only having a migraine but also having an allergy attack. Just as I’m sure that people are in wonder at some of the projects I undertake, I’m in at least that much wonder that Peggy is out climbing College Hill (so named because a college stood there 150 years ago) because I know I wouldn’t do it.<br /><br />I love you, Dana, and I’m so very, very sorry for your pain and the misery that accompanies it, but I’m also very, very thankful that you have Joe because if there’s one thing I believe in, it’s in Joe’s goodness as a man and in my observation that he’s doing doing the best he can to support you in a very discouraging situation and despite his own health issues. For his goodness to you and his goodness as a human being, I would even say that I love Joe although I’ve never met him or even exchanged a word with him. You tell Joe that I’m there for him in spirit just I would be there for him in other ways if he ever needed me.Snowbrushhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00436087215476479042noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23830899.post-45931606134237770852015-09-11T10:30:05.189-07:002015-09-11T10:30:05.189-07:00“at the foundation we've had success with tai ...“at the foundation we've had success with tai chi”<br /><br />Foundation? What did I miss? I don’t remember anything about a foundation.<br /><br />I took Tai Chi lessons for awhile before taking the advice of someone who suggested that I would learn just as much if not more from instructional DVDs. My favorite by far is by Paul Lam M.D. who was so poor as a child that he has permanent disabilities from hunger. He’s a joy to watch and to learn from and has all the humility of Thich Nhat Hanh (who had a stroke recently). I recall picking up a book once by Jon Kabat-Zinn, but it has been years, and I recall nothing about it. I have pretty much given up reading books that are aimed at making me a better person. It’s one of the many things that I’ve become jaded about over the years. While I enjoy reading old novels by great writers, as well as philosophy, theology, biography, and light science, if a book is to be found in the self-help section, I tend to avoid it. Now, I have some news to share.<br /><br />I saw the pain specialist yesterday. He said my MRI came back normal and that he really had nothing more to offer since the shots into my back muscles had already proven not to help. I asked about facet point injections into the backbone, and he said they’re hard to do and dangerous in the thoracic region (years ago, he did a series into my cervical region), so without physical evidence that they’re needed, he wouldn’t do them. I said that, well, part of my back problem is that it’s hard to do back exercises due to shoulder pain, so what did he think about injections into my shoulders. He said he could put steroids into my right shoulder, but since I had a partial replacement in the left, he wouldn’t dare place a needle into it, because if it became infected, the replacement would have to come out. I asked about lubricants, and he said that insurance wouldn’t pay for putting them into a shoulder, but that if it would, he would do them but only on the right side due to the infection issue (I’ll check with Medicare). He then gave me a list of chiropractors and acupuncturists. I had tried acupuncture and came away feeling like it was a rip-off, but I haven’t been to a chiropractor because a physical therapist told me that it would be dangerous because of my osteonecrotic C5, but the pain specialist said that as long as the chiropractor avoided my neck, I should be okay. I never thought I would see the day when an MD would recommend acupuncturist and chiropractors, but as it was, the pain specialist expressed no confidence in them, but offered them as an alternative because he was out of ideas. I could see another pain specialist, but I don’t think I will because I have faith in this one, and I already have seen others about my shoulders, and I didn’t like them. I left thinking that I’ll probably go back to him for Synvisc shots into my left knee, which now hurts too much for me to take walks. <br /><br />I now have all the posts set for my new fence, and am down to replacing one gate and the last two sections of fencing. I love work like this. When I can work hard, I’m a new man, and for some reason digging agrees with me. Much to Peggy’s dismay, I sometimes literally dig holes in the yard just for the fun of it. As I tell her, other people pay money and drive across town to work out in a gym while I can stay home and dig for free, and it IS one of the few exercises that I can tolerate as long as I don’t overdo it.Snowbrushhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00436087215476479042noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23830899.post-8535162662146320302015-09-10T18:11:41.306-07:002015-09-10T18:11:41.306-07:00The snowbirds have landed, and within ONE DAY they...The snowbirds have landed, and within ONE DAY they have all requested that Joe pick up their mail because they are all combining for a big four day trip through FLorida. I feel anxious, angry, resentful and envious. No one is in pain. No one has to spend a week recovering from their thousand mile treks to get here for the winter. They hop in their cars and sail away waving their hands at Joe as he trods up the street "fetching" their mail. Joe says I shouldn't feel resentment, like it's a failing of mine. "Shouldn't" this. "Shouldn't" that. Makes me damn angry. WHO, even Joe, has the right to tell ME what I should and shouldn't do when they've never spent more than 12 hours in temporary pain. I now depend on Joe to gather my meds into AM and PM doses, for I no longer remember what I "should" and "should not" be taking at any given time. I read your list to him as I sighed at recognizing every fear of yours. A few times Joe injected "Well, I don't agree with that." and I felt myself snap. "You're in no position to agree or disagree with anything Snow has to say". Yes. I miss the old me, and the old me had no idea what the new me would become. If I had known ................. then what.lotta joyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12742978845913126675noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23830899.post-80461045149502134512015-09-10T10:27:31.043-07:002015-09-10T10:27:31.043-07:00the mindful way through depression with jon kabat...the mindful way through depression with jon kabat-zinn might be worth a look.<br /><br />at the foundation we've had success with tai chi. for mindfulness i've always been a fan of thich nhat hanh.billy pilgrimhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00128876723713271131noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23830899.post-41135806047665590592015-09-09T10:53:41.238-07:002015-09-09T10:53:41.238-07:00“i wonder if you had physical therapy for your bac...“i wonder if you had physical therapy for your back injury”<br /><br />Yes, but they invariably gave me exercises that aggravated my bilateral shoulder pain. I’ve seen at least 20-30 physical therapists over the years, many of them with doctorates, and as a consequence I have very little confidence in them except when it comes to helping a person “loosen-up” after surgery, and even then, the exercise sheets that the doctor gives me are about as good, so really the only good the therapists do is to push a person to do the exercises.<br /><br />“if you've tried mindfulness, what the potential benefit of psychotherapy and meditation and other non-narcotic modalities”<br /><br />I mediate, after a fashion, by memorizing passages that promote centeredness and confidence and quoting them to myself as I lie in bed along with poems that I enjoy. As for sitting and repeating a mantra or watching my thoughts impassively, that kind of thing makes me stir crazy, so I won’t do it.<br /><br />As for therapists, I’ve not seen any for pain, but I’ve known quite a few, and I’ve also been to quite a few for anger and depression, and have come away with an extremely low opinion of what they offer. I suppose that, in theory, theirs is a field in which some benefit is possible, but I’ve seen but little of it. I would even say that I personally came out by far the worse for their ministrations except for the good that I received from one therapist who I saw for stage fright. She sent me to Toastmasters. Well, that was a very good thing, but I could have done it for myself. I only went to her because I hoped for an easier way. As with physical therapists, I came away thinking that much of her job was simply to push people to do that which they could have thought of for themselves. I will say for her that she was a rock, whereas every other therapist I’ve ever known, whether personally or professionally, was significantly troubled, present company not included. Also, Zoloft, which works for both depression and anxiety did more for me than the stage-fright therapist did, and its benefit has continued for the eight or ten years after I stopped taking it. This kind of thing inspires me to think far more highly of drugs than of therapists, and I’ve noted that few orthopedists or pain specialists suggest sending me either to a psychotherapist or a physical therapists, which implies that they think no more highly of them than I do.<br /><br />As for non-narcotic modalities, I don’t know what you have in mind, but I’ve tried everything that made sense to me, and the best thing I’ve found is physical work. Years after my three shoulder surgeries, my shoulders have finally gotten well enough that I can do quite a lot of hard work. Right now, I’m continuing with the fence replacement that I started last year, and this involves removing eight-foot posts set in concrete and replacing them with new eight-foot posts set in concrete. Some of my main tools are a sledgehammer for breaking-up concrete, and a 20-lb landscaping bar that I thrust repeatedly into holes to break-up heavy clay, Rather than harming my back, the work is helping it. It is hurting my shoulders quite a lot, but instead of stopping the work, I’m simply trying to keep it to manageable proportions. Along with making my body strong, hard works cheers my mind and makes me feel like I’m good for something. I love it, and one of the worst things about my problems is that I’m unable to do it to the extent I would like. Age is also a limiting factor. (continued)Snowbrushhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00436087215476479042noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23830899.post-65984794905026325932015-09-08T21:35:05.113-07:002015-09-08T21:35:05.113-07:00hello snow, i too have chronic pain and due proble...hello snow, i too have chronic pain and due problems with my back, hip, both knees, and a pulled groin muscle i'm on the losing side of walking. i've just finished a major move during which i had to produce but i'm sore as hell and my movement isn't normal. i do understand the losses you face. you already know i work in the field of rehab and back pain is one of my specialties. as always, i wonder if you had physical therapy for your back injury, if you've tried mindfulness, what the potential benefit of psychotherapy and meditation and other non-narcotic modalities might be. for me i know these are the right path, and weight loss. i also know i am stuck with chronic pain that affects my quality of life. <br /><br />some mornings i wake up in a growl. still, i don't know if i am willing to put in the effort needed to feel as good as i can feel, and that alone is my biggest problem (and failure). <br /><br />i hope you are able to create a somewhat equal list of what's positive for you. balance matters.<br /><br />you have a lot of support here. i'm glad. hoping your mood improves and your pain decreases.<br /><br />love<br />kjkjhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15122196887043345981noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23830899.post-14517489826170476422015-09-06T12:14:24.365-07:002015-09-06T12:14:24.365-07:00Chronic pain is tough. I am watching my husband s...Chronic pain is tough. I am watching my husband suffer with something similar. He's up for another sugery in two weeks that will improve his situation we hope. It's also difficult to watch someone suffer. <br /><br />As for cats and dogs, I like cats. My daughter has 7 dogs and one cat. The cat rules. Dogs are better in my view. they are much more loving and can teach us much. Have a good day. Or as best a day as you can.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23830899.post-18449064851201525422015-09-03T09:56:25.526-07:002015-09-03T09:56:25.526-07:00“there's a huge placebo effect with anti depre...“there's a huge placebo effect with anti depressants so just as important as the drug is your frame of mind and ability to buy into the drug.”<br /><br />Of course. This is why half of drug test subjects are supposed to be given a placebo without even the people who administer the drugs knowing who got the real thing and who didn’t. I recall reading that about one-third of the time, the placebo “works.” Even so, if I derive an earlier than expected benefit from a drug, I will have no way of knowing the reason, so I can’t very well ascribe it to the placebo effect, although I know that might be the explanation.<br /><br />“almost everyone googles the drug and checks out side effects…that begins the terrible cycle of rumination.”<br /><br />You also get a print-out of that information with your prescription. There are people at both extremes. Some won’t take Vicodin for three days following a minor surgery because they think it will kill them, while people like myself take so many drugs for so long without apparent harm that we become much more liberal in our expectation of negative consequences. Still, the number of drugs I take daily for long periods of time worries me a lot, partly because I might die, and partly because if I start having liver or kidney problems, I won’t be able to take them, which means that I will simply have to live without the benefits they provide.<br /><br />“what I will say is that you have made me realise that I have no problems and neither does my DH.”<br /><br />Well, good. I’m glad you visited.<br /><br />“We might have differences but that doesn't mean we can't be friends.”<br /><br />I can understand you losing friends due your strong and freely expressed opinions, but then I do too for the same reason, although our opinions are very far apart. I don’t know to what extent you understand the American concept of “political correctness,” but in the name of complete tolerance, it has become a force for intolerance, and people like you and I number among its targets. For instance, if you were a teacher, a nurse, or held some other job that had you in the public eye, you could, depending upon where you worked, be fired for privately expressing your thoughts to a co-worker if those thoughts were deemed as intolerant of some “marginalized group.” For example, your opposition to gay marriage would be seen as “homophobic,” and your perceived “hatred of homosexuals” could most definitely get you in a lot of trouble depending upon what part of the country you were in. So it is that PC represents a black-and-white view of the world according to which you go along with it, or there’s something seriously wrong with you. As for gay marriage, I support it, but my wife, Peggy, opposes it, yet I never imagine that Peggy “hates” homosexuals, but her former employer wouldn’t have seen it that way had she expressed her views at work, although that employer was a Catholic-run hospital.Snowbrushhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00436087215476479042noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23830899.post-76027127298646741972015-09-03T03:00:09.521-07:002015-09-03T03:00:09.521-07:00We might have differences but that doesn't mea...We might have differences but that doesn't mean we can't be friends. Is it necessary that we should always have common grounds to be friends? I lost one of my blog friends because I could not see eye to eye with her. I lost one FB friend because of differences of opinion regarding same sex marriage. Both of them have been my friends for many years. People who become friends thinking that we should always have common ground or see eye to eye on all issues are basing their friendship on flimsy grounds. We are human beings and we are entitled our own opinions and ideas on any subject under the sun. Good friends understand this and agree to disagree on many points but that doesn't mean they cut of the friend. This is ridiculous.<br /><br />I also remember that another FB friend cut me off because we had difference of opinion regarding Jews. Another blog friend deleted my comment because I wrote a comment which he did not like but I never did any such thing and we still visit each others blogs. Now I am very careful while writing a comment on his blog posts. If think I will not be able to write something which he likes, I don't write any comment. I think he is the loser for getting my views. <br /><br />I like to read different opinions in my blog and that makes me realize there is diversity of opinions and thoughts. I know even in a group of two or three people there will be different opinions on a given subject. I welcome such differences and that will not affect the friendship. Even between husbands and wives, between parents and children there are always differences in thoughts and opinions.<br /><br />We enrich our knowledge by listening to divergent views.<br /><br />Best wishes<br />Joseph Pulikotilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07074346261093541776noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23830899.post-83870840260298717712015-09-02T14:11:44.818-07:002015-09-02T14:11:44.818-07:00I'm visiting via Angela's, the Aussie Empt...I'm visiting via Angela's, the Aussie Empty Nester blog, and anything I could say would seem trite and probably ignorant....but what I will say is that you have made me realise that I have no problems and neither does my DH. Mariahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12594244181463706442noreply@blogger.com