Behold my powerful deeds

As I arrived at the physical therapist’s, a man my age was leaving. As I left, another man my age was arriving. The three of us are in one of life’s predictable passageways. For most of my adult life, I regarded age-related disability as a personal failing, and thought I could avoid it if I ate right and exercised. Now I see that the body wears out no matter what. Even so, I remain an exemplary man, an inspiration to all who know me. To wit:

I drink my liquor straight.

I use six times the coffee grounds of an ordinary mortal.

I eat habaneros with every meal (habaneros being 44 times hotter than jalapenos).

I pee into the wind, and the wind flees before my mighty torrent.

Regarding these things, I say to my wife: “Behold, wife, your man’s powerful deeds and confess that he walks the earth a man among men, the terror of babies and the savior of tyrants.

My wife says back to me: “Forsooth, husband, I do behold my man’s powerful deeds, and I do confess that his few surviving taste buds packed their little suitcases and moved far away; furthermore, his shoes smell like urine.”

So much for the intellectual equality of women.


All Consuming said...

keewp tryin to paste commeny, keep,s typin osther things, even code is plating upo...arrrgfh.

Snowbrush said...

Ha. You sound like you're drugged, or have a speech impediment, or suffered a stroke; anything but the articulate Brit I've come to know and love. I hope you get it all straightened out soon.

All Consuming said...

arrrgfhh!!! Oi cheeky. damn, hope this types hehe x

Snowbrush said...

"arrrgfhh!!! Oi cheeky. damn, hope this types hehe x"

Well, if it's a drunk you're on; it's a LONG drunk. Come to think of it, you're talking like Bill the Cat used to talk, and he ran for president. Are YOU thinking of a run for president?

I should think that having your computer but not being able to send messages would be pretty much like being a mute. I hope the poor thing gets well. You are missed.

All Consuming said...

Being articulate is something I rate myself on, so those posts are the devils work, and nothing to do with being drunk hahahah, though they could well have been. Anyway, I have access to the internet briefly before Christmas, and we are both, hubby and I, getting new hard drives,what are the odds they would both go at once? Sods Law methinks. Anyway, I wish both you and your your good lady Peggy the finest of times at Christmas, with felicitations abundant! best wishes and smiles, xxx

All Consuming said...

I'm hoping this link will work, if not I have posted your 'Christmas card' as a pic on my blog as well, tis the one with the world pictured. :) xx