If I told you I was an atheistic, socialistic, dog-buggering tofu-eater

 ...would you lose all respect for me as a patriotic, militaristic, freedom-loving American, or would you say, "Hail, brother, take my hand"? If you would lose all respect for me as a patriotic, militaristic, freedom-loving American, which of my sins would you say bothered you most?

P.S. I've yet to bugger my first dog because I'm afraid I would be the first human to contract some doggie venereal disease, and that my name and face would be all over TV.

P.P.S. The butterfly in the photo was dead, and Bonnie was not happy about being told to STAY.

P.P.S.S. The following study inspired this post. Other studies put us atheists down there with pedophiles in regard to the respect we get from the average American. You'll note that this study also included Canadians. Thanks a lot, Canada.

http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/religion/story/2011-12-10/religion-atheism/51777612/1