She all but slammed me into the wall!

Every time I go the dentist, whichever hygienist I get gives me hell about the coffee stains on my teeth. Some of them get so worked up, that I expect them to burst forth in sermon, something along the lines of, “Your teeth are a personal affront to God Almighty, and I’m going to make you give up your 14-hour a day coffee habit or know the reason why—praise the Lord.” 

It’s a source of wonder to me that these women care so much—a lot more than I do. All I care about is leaving that place without spending a thousand or more dollars in expiation for the sins of my childhood and my decades of life. As for looks, stained teeth are my last problem in that area, but I guess it makes sense that teeth would be what a dental hygienist would complain about, and, come to think of it, it would hurt my feelings if they criticized my thinning hair and old age spots the way they criticize my teeth.