Posts
I want to understand the difference between people who love Donald Trump and people like myself who despise him, it being obvious that our differences go beyond policy. When I came upon a nine-point list of traits (at bottom of post) that characterize people who are malevolent,* I discovered that every item on the list strongly represents my understanding of the character of Donald Trump. Because I view these traits in him as unavoidably obvious, I am unable to maintain a high regard for those who disagree.
My alienation from such people saddens me, and I have observed that they use some of the same insulting words to describe me that I use to describe them, words like stupid, deluded, hateful, and unpatriotic. They say that I want to abolish the police, and that I love rioters and looters, although I strongly support the police, and would gladly see rioters and looters shot dead in the street if it were possible to separate them from other demonstrators. I say these things in the hope of making it clear to Trumpians that our disagreement isn't total, and that in this, at least, we can find some comfort.
We are all pained by our contempt for one another, but no one knows how to move beyond it. Or at least I don't. Millions have stopped talking completely, while millions more have agreed to stop talking about Trump. Neither approach works for me, yet my attempts at understanding and being understood have been so anger-laden and accusatory that they have made matters worse. So I ask you, not rhetorically, but because I want to know: three and a half years into Trump's presidency, how do you view his character?
If you hate him as I do, then I will obviously understand, but for those few readers who regard him as honest, just, compassionate, and patriotic, to what do you attribute the fact that I hold the opposite view, and would you like for us to bridge the divide? While I have little belief that the angry torrent that separates us can be bridged, I am nonetheless making what I intend as a constructive effort. If my approach doesn't work for you, perhaps you have an idea that would. It is my blog, so while it makes sense that most of the time and work would be mine, the fact is that I need help. It is also true that no matter where you live or how you feel about Trump, everyone the wide world over has been wounded by the rage, chaos, and alienation that characterize his presidency. Perhaps you will say that these things aren't his fault, but surely you won't deny that they exist, or that responsibility for healing the wounds falls completely on the other side.
The following is the list of what I see in Trump. Even if you think I'm imagining these things in him, my hope is that if you understand the self-talk that underlies my hatred, you will find my hatred comprehensible. Whether this will represent progress, I don't know, but it's the only idea I have.
- Egoism. The excessive concern with one's own pleasure or advantage at the expense of community well-being.
- Machiavellianism. Manipulativeness, callous affect and strategic-calculating orientation.
- Moral Disengagement. A generalized cognitive orientation to the world that differentiates individuals' thinking in a way that powerfully affects unethical behavior.
- Narcissism. An all-consuming motive for ego reinforcement.
- Psychological Entitlement. A stable and pervasive sense that one deserves more and is entitled to more than others.
- Psychopathy. Deficits in affect, callousness, self-control and impulsivity.
- Sadism. Intentionally inflicting physical, sexual or psychological pain or suffering on others in order to assert power and dominance or for pleasure and enjoyment.
- Self-Interest. The pursuit of gains in socially valued domains, including material goods, social status, recognition, academic or occupational achievement and happiness.
- Spitefulness. A preference that would harm another but that would also entail harm to oneself. This harm could be social, financial, physical or an inconvenience.
*https://getpocket.com/explore/item/the-dark-core-of-personality?utm_source=pocket-newtab
18 comments:
I will be interested to read responses to this post.
While I don't have any major divergences from your assessment of the man, increasingly I am becoming more worried by his enablers.
Enablers who support him, to the extent that the lies are presented and accepted as alternative facts. Enablers who refuse to call out or attempt to moderate his behaviour. Is he expressing their long held thoughts/wishes or are their actions predicated on a wish to retain power. And yes, I do believe that absolute power corruptly absolutely.
Not that my opinion counts but if anyone I know, online or otherwise, thinks well of him, they keep their mouths shut. Even that makes a statement as they know how bad he is and are frightened to indicate any kind of approval. While the list of why to condemn him is endless, his criminal lack of statesman like leadership over COVID tops all else for me.
Perfect list except you missed narcissism
I don't like Trump. I hate many of the things he says he represents. Someone close to me is an ardent Trump supporter. This person sees the negative traits as "necessary quirks". I still care about those I love who support Trump. We do not need to agree in order to care for each other. Your profound hatred disturbs me a bit. I understand strong feelings but I feel you have moved beyond strong. In actuality, the hatred is what he wants from you. It separates you from people you once cared about. His whole purpose is to isolate and conquer. Remember you will never completely agree with anyone. Unless they are a danger to you it is better to be ready to welcome them when we elect a new president.
"Is he expressing their long held thoughts/wishes or are their actions predicated on a wish to retain power."
A major factor for many is that the most powerful legislative group in the country is mislabeled as a judicial group, the Supreme Court. Its nine justices are presidential appointees who serve for life and whose decisions are not subject to appeal. No doubt a lot of Republicans really do detest Trump, yet they so want the court to be stacked in their favor that they voted for him in 2016, and they will vote for him again this year. (In 2016 Republicans refused to interview an Obama appointment to the court, thereby leaving the position vacant for upwards of a year until Trump came into power. Without bad faith, the Republican Party would be but an empty bag. Also...
Under Trump, feelings that were driven underground during the climate of mostly positive social change that characterized the Obama presidency, have now been allowed to burst forth and explode upward. For example, Republican politicians are beginning to admit openly that they get some of their ideas from Q Anon, a right-wing conspiracy site that accuses the leadership of the Democratic Party of being pedophiles who gratify their lusts and raise money by kidnapping thousands upon thousands of children whom they sex-traffic. As it did with the Nazis, so has it done with Trump, by which I mean that the oppression started at a moderate pace before taking off exponentially.
As Michael Cohen, Trump's lawyer, said of Trump, "Everyone he touches is dirtied by him," which in the case of his followers means that he has provided the soil in which their religion-based values can blossom like a pernicious weed that insures that it and it alone can survive in the places where it takes hold. Remember, Trump has driven from the Party anyone who isn't on board with him-or pretends to be. Like Trump, Hitler took office in a democracy, but once in office, the German government mutated into a cult of personality in which truth was whatever Hitler said was true, and in which patriotism simply meant the unquestioning acceptance of the proposition that Hitler and Hitler alone knew what was good for the country, and had the strength and insight to bring it about.
"Perfect list except you missed narcissism."
It's there! ...I was so sorry to learn--in the comment section following my last post--of your brother-in-law's mistreatment of you. While I didn't address what you said, I have been thinking of you everyday.
"Your profound hatred disturbs me a bit."
Does this mean that you have a clear idea of where ENOUGH leaves off and too much TAKES HOLD? I must confess that I do not, but then it seems to me that, when it comes to Trump, how much I hate him (or even whether I hate him at all) is inconsequential when weighed against effectiveness. While I suppose that it is possible to resist Trump like one would resist a mad dog, by which I mean decisively but not hatefully, what concerns me most, right now, are the many demonstrators who oppose Trump yet act in ways that might swing the election in his favor. I refer, of course, to rioting, burning, looting, destroying statuary, intimidating the attendees who were leaving his inauguration-acceptance speech, ganging up on people who refuse to raise their fists in support of Black Lives Matter, etc. Anything that the Left does that makes people on the Right feel physically unsafe will be to Trump's advantage.
A consistent 95% of Trump's party have supported him to the point that he can get away with saying and doing anything just so long as what he says and does is hateful; bigoted; racist; denies the reality of global warming; allows for the rape of the natural environment for mineral and timber resources no matter how many species are driven into extinction; promotes the suppression of free speech; and supports discrimination on the part of white-heterosexual-conservative-Christian evangelicals against blacks, Hispanics, Democrats, socialists, secularists, homosexuals, transgenders, pro-abortionists, and anyone else who opposes Trump or who Trump and his followers disapprove of. His whole presidency has been a study in bad faith, for instance by making agency heads out of people who had devoted their professional careers to destroying those very agencies, and by destroying the careers of Republican politicians, appointees, and hires, who displeased Trump, with no worker being too insignificant for Trump to attack.
There are Trumpinans who take the view (toward non-Trumpians) that "we're all nice people, so why can't we just get along despite our political differences." The problem is that "political differences" is a euphemism that doesn't begin to describe the wrong that Trump has done WITH THEIR BLESSING; or the fact being that an unscrupulous man is attempting a hostile takeover of the American government; or that he has the full support of their own Republican Party whose members are challenged to say one bad thing about him, which was hardly a problem that they had with his predecessor, Obama. Now, his followers are chanting "twelve more years," knowing--unless they're comatose--that twelve more years of Trump would result in a fascist dictatorship like Nazi Germany in which another unscrupulous man came to power with the blessing of right-wing Christians, Christians who were only too glad to imprison millions of their countrymen in work camps and attempt a military takeover of the entire continents of Europe and Asia. I have no idea if "fair-minded" Trumpians imagine that people, like I, who publicly castigate Trump would be allowed to continue to do after "twelve more years of Trump," but I would anticipate them saying to themselves that it all was for the best when they awakened one morning to find me gone and all that I owned available for their appropriation.
I am of the belief (no pun intended) that pictures speak 1000 words. I send you this image that explains why Trump is so loved and supported.
http://inspired-art.com/gallery_13/Mr._President.html
PS: here's some happy news: I won't be coming back to this hate filled blogesphere. Your hatred has destroyed your very souls. Sad. I had to take a serious hot shower and wipe my body off in lyme soap just to dispense of your queaziness.
Anonymous (-Kris?), your link took me to a drawing of a sitting Trump with Jesus' hands on his shoulders, Trump being such a good Christian and all. As of this morning, Trump is promising a vaccine two days before the election (the timeline being a coincidence, no doubt), and he's advising voters to vote twice to even out the voter fraud committed by Democrats voting twice. Yet, you no doubt continue to regard him as a regular old exemplar of virtue! When it came to Obama's foibles, you choked on a gnat to the point of asphyxiation, but then Trump came along, and you've been able to swallow one felonious camel after another, day in and day out.
"here's some happy news: I won't be coming back to this hate filled blogesphere."
Truly, irony is dead, when a Trump supporter stops visiting a blog on the basis of hatefulness. If you are -Kris, I will simply thank you again for the gift you sent, and say I'm sorry my blog didn't work out for you.
I can maintain hope in a relationship for a long, long time, even if the other person and I fight like two cats in a bag, but once someone says, "I'm done with you," I believe them. As bad as I seem to you, I've done the best I could given that I regard Trump as the first existential threat to this country that I have ever experienced, yet it is a country that he was sworn to protect, and the laws of which he promised to defend. Yet you see him as the epitome of sweetness and light, a man with Jesus' hands on his shoulders. When I wrote this post, that was what I hoped to understand.
Your list of Trump's characteristics perfectly correct. My list would be one word long: he's a runt, err no, he's a punt ... no that's wrong again he's a cult. No, not correct. I just can't get the spelling right, but I know what I mean.
I agree with you and I agree with Philip rather strongly too. His supporters will go down in history in much the same way many in Germany did in World War two; people will find it impossible to reconcile the idea that kind, thoughtful normal people, families who pride themselves on their Christian kindness, people who do not look like skinheads or thugs, supported, voted for and enabled a president who has and will kill thousands of his people without having the slightest care for his country or the troops or anyone but himself. A man who has been proven to baldly lie countless times compared to any other president, forget Nixon, it's way beyond Nixon. A man who tweets and calls people losers as though he's a petulant sixteen-year-old. Only he isn't, he's the most dangerous man in the world right now, and I suspect there will be civil war in the US if he gets voted in again.
"I can maintain hope in a relationship for a long, long time, even if the other person and I fight like two cats in a bag" - And I so admire you for this, for it leads to a bridging between those to see different sides of the same coin. Like you and Marion. I can go so far but find the hatred Trump stirs up to be so appalling I can't remain friends with his supporters. It's like talking to cult members, it doesn't matter what their master says or does, he is supreme.
"His supporters will go down in history in much the same way many in Germany did in World War two; people will find it impossible to reconcile the idea that kind, thoughtful normal people, families who pride themselves on their Christian kindness, people who do not look like skinheads or thugs, supported, voted for and enabled a president who has and will kill thousands of his people without having the slightest care for his country or the troops or anyone but himself."
Exactly. My ability to be friends with a Trump supporter hinges upon how bad a person must be before I feel justified in ejecting him or her from my life, thereby losing the bad but also the good. By way of comparison, ejecting a sadist or a pedophile from my life would be a no-brainer, but, prior to Trump, I never encountered the problem in regard to a politician. However, if I made a list of the virtues that I consider essential to being an honorable person and put checks by the ones that apply to Trump, there would be no checks. This being true, what am I to conclude about the character and insight of his supporters? I was strongly in favor of Bill Clinton being thrown out of office, yet I never imagined that Clinton was in every way a wicked or imprudent man, or that he was indifferent to the welfare of his country, or that he placed no value upon the ideals upon which his country was founded. George Bush got us into two senseless wars, and was therefore a far worse president than Clinton, yet I never doubted but what he sincerely wanted to serve his country. I can therefore be friends with someone who supported Clinton or Bush because both were presidents about whom reasonable people might disagree. Trump is another matter because I consider him to be utterly lacking in both character and ability, and that he brings out the very worst in his followers. In fact, I am convinced that Trump is as devoid of goodness and ability as it is possible for a person to be, and I am equally convinced that no mature, perceptive and well-meaning person could disagree. How then, am I to be friends with someone who supports Trump? On the one hand, I would like to minimize the dross in that person and focus on the gold, but on the other hand, I am overwhelmed by the degree of the dross and how deeply under it the gold is buried.
"I suspect there will be civil war in the US if he gets voted in again."
I will be more concerned about this if he loses. He has been insisting for months now that he will only lose if the "election is stolen," a statement that suggests the possibility of a coup. He is also taking every possible step to both suppress the vote and to withhold security assessments regarding the extent to which Putin is working to undermine the election in Trump's favor. As you pointed out, the willingness of his followers to believe Trump over anyone else, even in academic areas about which Trump has no knowledge, suggests that they see him as more akin to a god than a politician, and this leads them to say the most appalling things. For example, Michelle Bachmann, a prominent Republican politician, calls Trump the most Christian president that America has ever had, and millions of evangelicals hold that to serve God, one must necessarily serve his chosen president. Meanwhile, "Q" is being increasingly quoted by Republican politicians (including one in the liberal Willamette Valley), Q's basic message being that the Democratic hierarchy consists of Satan-worshiping pedophiles who are controlling the country in the form of a cabal known as the "Deep State," and that God has chosen Trump to wage a secret war against this cabal. Imagine nuttiness at its worst, and that's what the thinking of the Republican Party is morphing into under the influence Trump. In the face of such insanity, evidence and logic become meaningless, and any viciousness becomes tenable. It is surely no accident that Trump's followers have abandoned the flag of their nation in preference for the flag of Trump. It is to be hoped that, as insane as all this is, relatively few Republicans are completely on board with it. If Trump does lose, I can but hope that calmer heads will prevail. Another source of hope is that the nuttier Trump and his party act, the more "un-decides" they are likely to alienate.
Snowy, you might like my lastest post and you really should come check out Maizy the Truelove! https://creekhiker.blogspot.com/2020/09/pandemic-fail-what-trump-did-wrong.html
"Snowy, you might like my lastest post and you really should come check out Maizy the Truelove!"
CreekHiker, thank you for telling me of it because I very much enjoyed your post, and am thrilled that you're posting--and visiting--again following your two year absence. The US has 4% of the world's population and 25% of its Covid cases, so for what reason do Trump and his followers applaud the job he has done in handling the virus? I only have one reader who supports Trump, and if her attitude is typical, his supporters simply label as "fake news" anything that displeases them, and then they refuse to discuss the matter.
"Maizy the Truelove"! I am so glad for the joy that your Rotties bring you! Similarly, I have a long-haired gray cat with foxy eyes and a pooched-out mouth and nose. His name is Harvey, and he has so captured my heart that having him is like falling in love--it IS falling in love--yet when we got our first cat Brewsky (this was ten years ago), we did so with the sad thought that we would never again know the joy that dog brought up, but that our absence of overwhelming joy would protect us from becoming so attached to a pet that we would grieve endlessly when the pet died. We've since been stripped naked of all such imaginings.
I won't be coming back to this hate filled blogesphere. Your hatred has destroyed your very souls. Sad. I had to take a serious hot shower and wipe my body off in lyme soap just to dispense of your queaziness."
Anonymous, I must admit that I so loathe, hate, and despise Donald Trump, that I would be displeased if he simply up and died because an easy death would deprive me of the joy of watching him suffer. To hate a president the way I hate Trump is a new feeling for me, but then this is the first time that I have viewed a president as devoid of any and all redeeming characteristics, by which I mean that I view him as unutterably callous, vicious, and indifferent to the welfare of anyone but himself. I see him as so harming our nation that we won't heal from his influence during my lifetime, and I worry that if he wins (or steals) re-election, he will complete the job of destroying our nation. My question for you is this: does your saying that the hatefulness of Trump's critics makes you nauseous mean that you regard Trump and his supporters as being characterized by all manner of goodness, by which I refer to love, truthfulness, compassion, fair-mindedness, and a concern for the good of our nation in particular and, to a lesser extent, that of people everywhere? Likewise, to what do you ascribe the widespread hatred of Trump. Do you imagine that people hate him for no other reason than that he is good and they are evil?
Snow, please send me your email address. Mine is still ms.dragonfly80@gmail.com - I just can't put certain personal things online for the world to read. xo
Would you send me your email too?? hf[at]hollysfolly[dot]com
Post a Comment