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“Nothing lasts; therefore nothing means anything.”I found this sentiment in the blog of a sixteen year old. I couldn’t have written it when I was her age because I still believed, despite serious doubts about the Bible, that life had an ordained meaning. I also lacked her insight into how quickly it is over. The years I had already lived seemed like a long, long time, and I anticipated living several times longer. I still felt as lost as she, but lost in a way that I didn’t know how to articulate—not that anyone ever asked. My best guess about how to deal with my lostness was to set the woods on fire. It seemed like such a crazy idea that I thought it would get me committed to a cozy mental institution where a fatherly psychiatrist could fix me.
Why this faith in shrinks? Did you know any?
No, I had never laid eyes on a first year psychology major much less a bona fide psychiatrist, but I had read Truman Capote’s In Cold Blood, in which a psychiatrist helped one of the condemned killers come to terms with his execution. I figured that, if a shrink could make a fellow feel okay about being hung before dawn in a Kansas prison, he could make him feel okay about anything.
I didn’t burn the woods down, partly because I didn’t want to burn the woods down, and partly because I worried that I would be sent to a reform school instead of a mental institution. For years, I continued to feel alone. Other people didn’t seem to share my angst, and my ever deeper and ever more raging questions about ultimate reality made me feel like a freak. I imagined that everyone else must have already found the answers I was seeking, and that their lack of apparent depth simply meant they were miles ahead of me, as if the rest of the world knew something that I didn’t. But, if this were true, I wondered, why wouldn’t they share the answers, and why did most of them seem so unintelligent?
I still feel alone, but it has moved beyond what I had thought was a remediable defect and into what I regard as the human condition. If you’re congenitally cheerful or believe in Jehovah, you might not feel it. Otherwise…
I wrote at length to the teenage blogger, pointing out that impermanence need not imply futility, although it does, in my mind, lead to sadness. All that I treasure, all that I protect, will be lost in a mere two or three decades. My photos, my writings, and the other artifacts of my life will, likely as not, end up in a landfill. Peggy will die, either a few years before or a few years after me, and in a few more years, all that we were and all that we did will be forgotten. These things will occur in roughly half the time we have already lived. If you can remain unerringly cheerful in the face of such a future, I envy you. I also suspect that you have embraced answers that are as groundless as they are comforting.
34 comments:
A friend of mine said "Getting older isn't for sissies" I think that is true.. I almost burned dow the fairgrounds in town once. I wonder what happens to our blogs once we are gone. Maybe they will be out there is cyber space forever.
you make me very sad some times.there is nothing I can say that will help you. so sorry.
Snowbrush, I think that everyone lives forever in some way. One little thing you may have said to someone may have burned itself into their mind so deeply, that they took that message and maybe changed a word or two, but passed it along, etc. Especially the things you say, you are so gifted. Give the toys away to a collector. Donate your writings to the University, have them bound.
--We were talking-about the space between us all
And the people-who hide themselves behind a wall of illusion
Never glimpse the truth-then it's far too late-when they pass away.
We were talking-about the love we all could share-when we find it
To try our best to hold it there-with our love
With our love-we could save the world-if they only knew.
Try to realize it's all within yourself
No-one else can make you change
And to see you're really only very small,
And life flows ON within you and without you.
We were talking-about the love that's gone so cold and the people,
Who gain the world and lose their soul-
They don't know-they can't see-are you one of them?
When you've seen beyond yourself-then you may find, peace of mind,
Is waiting there-
And the time will come when you see
we're all one, and life flows on within you and without you.
George Harrison, Within You Without You
I guess I am one of those lucky people who is almost always optimistic and happy without being deluded by superstition. I started to doubt my parents religious beliefs when I was about 12 ---and that was so liberating after the fire and brimstone atmosphere that was indoctrinated into me.
My husband, on the other hand, is a pessimist and mildly depressed, often more than mildly. It frustrates me that I can do nothing to help him out of his depression. It frustrates him that I can never understand what he is going through. Our family backgrounds are not that much different, so it is difficult to understand how we each turn out with our individual temperaments, yet there are so many factors of heredity and environment that can throw us one way or the other.
I guess we would all like to be remembered. I, too, wonder what happens to our blogs once we are gone. If a blog is inactive for a specific amount of time, will it disappear? Occasionally I think I ought to print all of my posts and pass them on to someone, but who? We have no children. All my family members are religious, so they would probably burn them. I guess I could send them to the Freedom From Religion Foundation or some other freethought organization that might appreciate them.
But, be it known, that the many people who follow your blog do take something with us each time we read your posts, whether it makes us cry or smile or think.
Some people do not leave behind their spouse or their writings, but instead leave far more.
My aunt died a year ago, I have nothing from her (possessions). What I do have is this : Her undying love, her belief in me when no other family member could see, her love and care of my babies, her wisdom and committment to showing me a better life than the one I was born into.
Snow ~ you have a profound effect on people, both positive and negative, which stays on, even after you go.
Living for the future is futile, because it is finite, as you so succinctly reminded us. We really only have today to live for, to live the best we can in each moment.
Happiness is made of many such moments, all joined together in a bunch, like a rug made of many happy stitches.
Life is a paradox. Accept the good, the bad and the really ugly bits as part of the whole,and realise that there really only is now.xx♥
Its not about the destination Snow....its about the journey.
Trite ...maybe...but hell, I'd rather it so
xxx
I don't know. I am cheerful MOST of the time.It has nothing to do with embracing groundless answers. It is simply a matter of choice.
Many times I feel alone and sometimes sad or depressed. My time here is short and most of the time I feel that my life, other then the fact that I produced wonderful children and from that came beautiful grandchildren,Has so far accomplished nothing truly meaningful.
But so what, big deal. I can dwell on all of the bad things in life. I can dwell on all of the unhappiness of life. But I choose not to over analyze every single thing or person that try's to bring down my spirit.
Nobody ever promised that we would all lead successfully,productive,inspiring and happy lives. I think thats a little unreasonable to expect.
Maybe thats the problem. Maybe people just expect too much. So I say just take what you get and be grateful that you have that much.
I am not cheerful because I have embraced groundless answers. I am cheerful because I CHOOSE to be. I am cheerful because it feels better than being an old crabass!
It's hard growing up when you feel so much different than the other kids and don't really know why you're different, or what about you makes you different. You just know that you are and hope that one day you'll meet at least one person on earth who can truly understand that.
I guess I don't spend a lot of time thinking about death. I have no heavenly illusions. When you're gone, you're gone. I will live on only as long as those who knew me live. I've told my children not to look to me for funeral plans. Cremate me, and do what they need to bring closure. I don't care.
I enjoy life, people tell me my name should be Erma Bombeck, but I'm alone because that's the path I've chosen. I've never been one to join groups.
Upon retirement we sold our home in Texas and moved to an apartment in Hillsboro. I gave all meaningful things to our children at that time. Family items from my mother's side of the family went to my daughter as well as my nice jewelry. Son got all the family things from my father's side of the family.
We're traveling light the rest of the way and we like it that way. It won't take long to clean out this apartment when we're gone and everybody will soon be back in their normal routine of living.
This will work fine unless one of us has an extended illness.
Joe "I wonder what happens to our blogs once we are gone"
Me too, Joe. I guess they're there until Blogspot crashes or shuts down. Sometimes, it worries me that all these communities we've built could be gone in a flash.
Patsy "you make me very sad some times.there is nothing I can say that will help you. so sorry."
Patsy, that's so sweet, and I thank you sincerely. I'll also tell you a secret: you can't help, at least not by coming up with ideas that I hadn't thought of, ideas that will inspire me to see things all differently. People who try to do this either underestimate the extent of my learning and the breadth of my thinking, or they present what amounts to a faith-based perspective. You can help by caring, though, and you have.
Michelle "Its not about the destination Snow....its about the journey."
Dogs live that way amazingly well, so why can't we? I suspect it's because we have minds that just naturally travel through time, whereas dogs are completely present in the moment. When things are going good, this is great for them, but when things suck, they have no respite, and their misery is complete.
Lisa "Snowbrush, I think that everyone lives forever in some way"
May it be so, Lisa. Maybe all of us bloggers can have a big reunion someday, somewhere--only, I guess it wouldn't be your usual reunion since we've never seen one another the first time. And when you see me, you can say, "Snow, you old bugger. Here we are, just like I said we would be." I'll introduce you to Peggy, and then I'll say, "Hells Bells, Lisa, you were right, and I am so glad to admit that I didn't have a clue."
C Woods " I think I ought to print all of my posts and pass them on to someone, but who? We have no children."
Same here. I know that the Library of Congress keeps copies of all the books that are in print (or so I've heard), so maybe they would want them. The question then becomes what are the odds that anyone would ever see them again.
I treasured your aunt, Natalie, just hearing about her from you.
Diana " I am cheerful because I CHOOSE to be."
Oh, Diana, I doubt that you really meant to, but I interpret your words as meaning that it's all so easy, sort of like going into an ice cream parlor and choosing vanilla or tangerine. Personally, I don't think we get to choose anything--not even vanilla or tangerine. Yet, I will readily admit that we have the appearance of choice inside our heads. It certainly seems to me that I have the power to either write to you or to get up and do something else, but I believe this to be a delusion. Yet, even if my admittedly extreme position is wrong, it doesn't mean that we have the power to decide to be sad or happy. At the very least, I should think that demeanor is like hair color, or sexual orientation, or even whether we get cancer.
Jane "You just know that you are and hope that one day you'll meet at least one person on earth who can truly understand that."
Have you, Jane? I rather gave up on that project as I consistently thought I had found it with new lovers only to discover that, when the relationship fell apart, the depth of understanding proved to have been a delusion. Peggy understands me better than anyone, but I am still a mystery to her (as she is to me). We can predict one another's actions pretty well, and we can describe one another's thoughts and values, but I wouldn't say we always understand at a heart level. For example, I have witnessed her phobia of spiders everyday for 37 years, but I can't say that I am able to feel how it is for her. The best I can do is to compare it to a fear that I have felt, but I can never know how well the two feelings correspond.
LInda "This will work fine unless one of us has an extended illness."
Linda, I didn't overlook you; it's just that you and I were posting a response at the same time. As for an extended illness, at least you live in one of the only two states in the U.S. that has an "assisted suicide" law. Of course, you have to be terminal for it to take effect, but in that event, you always have the option of piling up narcotics and sleeping pills on your own. When you're in chronic pain (as I am), it's not hard to do.
O.K. Snowbrush, It isn't always an easy choice to be happy. No, it can be most difficult. And I do agree that our demeanor can be like our hair color or sexual orientation. I was not born cheerful.
But still while I have had more than my share of pain, grief, sadness and depression, I have also learned that nobody likes a party pooper! I am much better at entertaining people than I am at making them walk away. So, again, I choose to be happy and yes most of the time cheerful. Even if it means walking away from people that thrive on darkness, depression, and kicking other people when they are down.
Maybe some don't have a choice. But I do. So I guess that makes me special!!
Numerous items come to mind, but I will take the first four:
I recall being at once comforted and dissatisfied by “Man’s Search for Meaning,” though thoroughly engrossed in its stories throughout. Comforted, because I had sometimes in the past been participating in some pleasurable activity such as sitting down to eat a meal when the thought suddenly struck me that, should I ever be captured and tortured, I would immediately become demented. Frankl showed me that one may survive hell, be sane, and live again. Dissatisfied, because I had anticipated some theory or methodology, and there was none.
I recall reading “The Conquest of Happiness” and, besides finding some interesting lines, coming to the opinion that Russell is not timeless nor is he relevant. The man must have been living on a different plane of reality, as though he were not really troubled by the fact of his existence, but merely by social ills and repressive institutions. One line in particular bothered me, where he states that “the wise man will be as happy as circumstances permit, and if he finds the contemplation of the universe painful beyond a point, he will contemplate something else instead.” What utter tripe, I thought. How stupid and infantile. Yes Russell, let us all stop bothering our little heads with such difficulties and study mathematics instead. I have since reversed my initial opinion. Elsewhere Russell writes that “reason lays no embargo upon happiness.” Connecting these two quotes, I realized that there existed within myself a hangover from my former fundamentalist beliefs, something along the lines of James 4:9, where sinful believers are instructed to “grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom.” Immediately I clearly saw that there existed no state of affairs that required me to feel a particular way, that whatever the circumstances may be, I have complete liberty to regard myself in whatever available disposition that I please. This is not to say that I can choose to be cheerful (ever a perfect impossibility), but that I am under no emotional obligations.
I recall being completely confused by the writing style of “The Myth of Sisyphus,” and only coming to terms with Camus upon reading it alongside of Spark Notes. Now, I am by no means persuaded by his argument against suicide, and maintain this option as every person is entitled to until I am persuaded otherwise. However, his philosophy of Revolt against the Absurd remains the sole worldview left legitimate in my mind once religious convictions have faded, if one is to have any philosophy at all. Admittedly, I do not hold to this in a rigorous fashion, as I may very well be swept away tomorrow by another. But that I can hold onto three contradictions at once, where we desire meaning in all things, where that desire is frustrated in all things, and where rebellion against that frustration can be mounted in all things, this interpretation of the universe brings a strange clarity to events and backward sense of peace.
Finally, while I cannot honestly refer to myself as a Christian, I cannot help maintaining a great interest in the whole affair. Amidst that interest is a vision that infrequently deigns to visit me, where Christian Universalism is true, and I am made unstoppable, possessed of an indomitable spirit of hope and love in the face of such a spectacular truth, come what may. When that vision passes, I think to myself that if it were reality and I believed it to be so, then I would be transformed into that person whom I have always wished to be. But perhaps it is as you say, groundless as it is comforting. My judgment is not yet complete.
I do not say these things as if do instruct you, but out of gratitude for entertaining such ridiculously long comments.
My photos, my writings, and the other artifacts of my life will, likely as not, end up in a landfill. Peggy will die, either a few years before or a few years after me, and in a few more years, all that we were and all that we did will be forgotten.
Well dwelling on that would make me pretty depressed as well Snow. It would be trite of me to say - how about the now? You may have had a profound affect on that teen that will change his thoughts forever. Our actions can have long lasting affect that goes on long after we do. You obviously do not see things that way and for that I feel deeply sad.
Diana, thank you for taking the time to write to me again. In reading what you wrote, I wondered how much of your choice was motivated by your belief that it was the best thing for you apart from other factors, and how much by your feeling that you were unsupported by other people and would lose them from your life altogether if you didn't appear, at least, to move past your troubles. Am I completely out in left-field here?
Reuben, thank you so much for your response. I only have a few minutes to sit here right now, and will respond to it when I have more time.
Reasons, I am very sorry that you are sad on my behalf. I take it as a sign of your affection for me, and I thank you.
hiya Snow,
While at a flea market one day, there was pictures and journals of a woman's life lying open in naked view in the baking sun for any passerby to sift and rummage through. I took some time at that table reading and wondering who this lady was. I was moved by this as I realized that my life could possibly end up on a flew market table somewhere...and like me...somebody might wonder who I was, and who I was to somebody...somehow truly living life became more important than chronicling it.
Well, not someone who TOTALLY understood me, but certainly someone who understood me better than any other AND who was willing to try! Personally, I think it's impossible for one individual to be totally understood by another, and isn't that a great thing?
Jane
As always your posts are thought provoking…my first response was that I’m ok with the impermanence of everything, why aren’t you?….but in reality the fact that nothing ‘lasts’ does make me sad...I want to see my grandchildren grow up and have kids...I want to be a geat granny..I want them to remember me. We go through this life with all our drama and our dreams and in the end it’s just The End. ( In the end all we have is our story. Drover from the movie Australia)
But I don’t believe for a minute that impermanence means nothing is important. Nor do I believe we leave nothing behind..
Our life experiences and lessons make up a story. That story, and what we learn along the way is something to pass on. It is important. It is a thread that continues to weave it’s way through the lives of those who have loved us. Your stories are important…You touch others..your efforts to reach out and share does matter. You have wisdom.... you make people laugh and cry. You make us think You are memorable.
There is this other thing about recognizing the impermanence of things….if we accept this it is easier to accept change and loss. We cling less, worry less. Knowing there is nothing we can do to stop this ever changing universe helps us to relax into the journey...My job is to gather some wisdom to share with those who might benefit from it as you did with you young blogger friend.
As always I enjoy your thoughts...hug, hug
Snow, Very insightful. I'm 45 and feeling so futile. I've always felt that impermanence even though I'm spiritual. I still am spiritual but I really don't get the point of THIS life...why put us through such Hell on Earth?
I have no answers....just thinking with my fingers tonight!
So I just lost a kitten, only 8 weeks old. She wanted to live. She was terribly impacted with stool. She came here that way and I didn't see it. But I noticed the excess water drinking. Thought it meant worms. Wormed her. She was so starved, due to the bad situation all seven came from, she'd climb into the food bowl and eat, despite the impaction I didn't know about. I knew about it when she crashed two days ago. I thought it was her heart, gave supportive care, took her to the vet. The last ten minutes of her life were horrible. She was screaming, I was sobbing, and trying everything in my limited power to save her. She started gasping for a breath only every few seconds and I was yelling at her, to hold on, to fight. She bit at me instead, in her last act "Leave me be!" And died. It was awful. We all die. I am terribly upset, mainly because the last ten minutes of her life she was in horrible pain, likely gas pains from straining and all the stuff I was doing to help her become unimpacted. I know how painful that is.
I love my cats. All the strays who go through here, they're all my children. When I die, I don't care anymore, I know, if I have a moment before gasping for that last breath, if I get a glimpse, I'll see...faces, lots of them, the faces of the cats, thousands of them, who've gone through here. I hope that makes me smile before the life leaves me. I won't stop fighting for them, however, no matter how horrible the detahs are, when they occur. I love life. It's beautiful and so are these souls passing through here by the thousand. I hope my death is quick but if it isn't, oh well. The thing that helps is not to think about it much, if you can, and get your mind off it, get out there, when you can, and help others, animal or human. Enjoy now, for tomorrow any one of us could be gone. That's all I know. That kitten wanted to live but in the end, she didn't. Rest her beautiful little soul. It's that way for everything alive on earth. The mouse goes out anyhow, to look for food, even though everything on earth wants to eat him. Denial can be a mouse's best friend. Maybe ours also. The timid mouse syndrome can kill a mouse. The "won't be me" attitude is supreme! Helps a lot of mice go out every evening into this jungle we share.
I simply want to give you a hug. I cannot change (nor would I ever want to) how you feel or what you believe. I share similarities with you; teen years filled with feeling different, actually since I was 2 or 3, feeling utterly alone for most of my life (and enjoying it more often than not), feeling like no one around me thinks as deeply as I do about life and her mysteries, severe bouts of depression, and chronic pain and illnesses.
I would never tell you to just "cheer up". One time during a very deep, and lingering run with depression, my sister came over to visit me. I hadn't really talked to her about the intensity or depth of my inner pain and after I opened up she said, "You really need to get out and smell the flowers." I told her I couldn't even see the flowers let alone smell them and told her to leave my house immediately.
I now know people cannot always understand what we are feeling or know what we need. All I needed that day from my sister was a hug. No one can "fix" us. But everyone can give a much needed hug. Just like your words hugged that teenager.
Now come get a hug from me at my place. I posted a video of me being utterly silly. I rather relish the times I can be silly and can actually "smell" the flowers. For I so know the times of utter darkness I cocooned in and may be bound to again.
I'm going to give the address of the blogger by whom this entry was inspired. She has limited use of a computer right now, so I can't ask her permission, but I can't see the harm in it either, and I do find her writing well worth sharing. http://musiicmaniaac.blogspot.com/
Reuben "I clearly saw that there existed no state of affairs that required me to feel a particular way"
It is true that how we feel is subjective, but knowing this does not, in itself, enable one to see differently, hence things like religion and philosophy. For example, it's easier to handle the trials of today if you believe your life has an ordained meaning and will be followed by everlasting paradise.
Like you, I grew up fundamentalist, and I have wondered as to the lingering impact of being told year in and year out that, aside from our particular version of God and the promise of heaven, life had no meaning.
I too enjoyed Frankel, although it's been a long time. Camus is a favorite writer of mine too, and, like you, I maintain a lingering interest in Christianity, esp the Bible (mostly the Hebrew Bible) about which I am actually quite passionate.
Bella "truly living life became more important than chronicling it."
Well, it certainly should be, should it not? I enjoyed your account of the flea market: I too hate seeing things that are perishable--like family photos--baking in the sun. It's hardly better than trampling them underfoot.
Jane "I think it's impossible for one individual to be totally understood by another, and isn't that a great thing?"
I agree with your observation about the impossibility of complete understanding. I am unclear, though, as to why it wouldn't be desirable. The rub, as I see it, would be completely understanding someone else without completely experiencing that persons' life, i.e. becoming him or her. If complete understanding were possible while at the same time we maintain our discrete beings, I should think it would be desirable, if for no other reason than for what we might learn. It would be the ultimate case of "walking in another's moccasins."
Julie " I don’t believe for a minute that impermanence means nothing is important."
Me either. If we truly believed that nothing was important, we wouldn't fear loss or grieve over things we've already lost. To give a blunt example, no one who has a toothache can convincingly claim that he or she regards pain as unimportant; and I doubt that many people could watch someone drown and not say that it's important to try to save them. No matter what mental constructs we create, our existence as evolutionarily evolved beings is pretty damn compelling.
Julie "My job is to gather some wisdom to share with those who might benefit from it as you did with you young blogger friend."
I shared my honest insights with her, but I have no idea if that was desirable since my insights are rather gloomy and she is quite young. As I saw it at the time, no one else had responded to her post, so it was better for me to reach out by saying what I said than it would have been to keep silent. And, of course, she is too sophisticated for me to have gotten away with trying to present a rosy view even if I had wanted to cheer her up with ideas I didn't personally accept. I am actually quite amazed by her.
Creekhiker "I still am spiritual but I really don't get the point of THIS life...why put us through such Hell on Earth?"
As you are aware, your statement rests upon at least two assumptions. First, that there is another life after this one; and, second, that some purposeful being is subjecting us to this life. I know that I am the minority here (at least in the U.S.), but I don't see the basis for these beliefs.
Strayer, you write so beautifully. I wish you would post this to your own blog as it so well represents your passion and commitment. I'm ever amazed by your combination of toughness and sensitivity.
Strayer "I hope my death is quick but if it isn't, oh well."
This is the kind of insight that can only come to one who is familiar with suffering--as I know you are. Bless you, my friend. I am awed by you.
Lille Diane "I cannot change (nor would I ever want to) how you feel or what you believe."
Why bless your heart! I'm ever surprised that so many people get their pants in a wad trying to change me. On one level, I find it amusing, but I keep reminding myself that they mean well. It's as if they see a dog with a thorn in its paw, and who could not want to bring relief to such a one? They think that, surely, I have simply overlooked some insight that they might offer, yet those insights are so obvious. I also suspect that, as with your sister, they are distressed by my distress, so their efforts are partially based upon self-interest, and might even contain an element of wanting to avoid looking at similar feelings within themselves.
Hi again Snowbrush, Your theory was very interesting and if I am interpreting it right, you are incorrect. The truth is that over the years I have learned not to worry about what other people think or losing them because of whatever attitude I have. Menopause has liberated me baby! I just enjoy life and enjoy it more by not sweating the small stuff. It's what keeps me going. Feeling down is not something that can be easily controlled,especially when things get overwhelming which they often do. I do let myself wallow a bit and then it's time to get over it. I usually only wallow alone because when I get around other humans my frown turns upside down!
Maybe I am predisposed to being cheerful or maybe I found the secret that everyone else looks for! I am definitely a pro at breaking out into hysterical fits of laughter over something as minute as a shoe so who knows?
I think we really just have this moment...we can come to perceived truths through thought/ideas and by fantasising about the past and the future but all we really have is now...the truth for all of us is that nothing is so precious as when it comes with the realisation that it will end...I don't, and don't think I'm able to, know the reason for our existence(tho for me the focus on the moment has led to a feeling of oneness/connectedness with all)...then there is no choice but to value and enjoy each precious moment.
what intelligent thoughtful visitors you have, snowbrush. i will be back to read each comment slowly so i can absorb the intent.
i am not at the greatest place right now myself, but i know to appreciate colors and words and breezes and kind hands on weary shoulders.
have you ever read 'a course in miracles?" it might interest you...
love
kj
mr snowbrush, you need to cry more, yell more, kick more and whine more.
i am sure that will help you alot. it does wonders for me.
most sincerely,
your friend,
emily r.
Diana "Your theory was very interesting and if I am interpreting it right, you are incorrect."
Well, I mean, jeez, what do you want--correct AND interesting! I'll settle for just one, although which one is better, do you think?
I agree, Chrisy, that all we really have is NOW. Indeed. Yet, we are capable of much travel in our imaginations, and it is hard to avoid that, is it not?
KJ "I am not at the greatest place right now myself,
I am very sorry to hear this, KJ. How might I help?
KJ "have you ever read 'a course in miracles?"
Yes. It holds that evil is an illusion, but why, I might ask, isn't the illusion of evil not in itself evil? I see no difference in mistakingly thinking I'm suffering and in actually suffering.
Emily r. " you need to cry more, yell more, kick more and whine more."
I think, Emily, that you are a rabbit. I don't hold this against you because some of my best friends are rabbits (not really--I don't really know a single living rabbit, would you believe, but, if I did know any living rabbits, they would almost certainly BE my best friends) and because I'm a Democrat (at least the last time I voted), and Democrats aren't specieists. Still, Emily, if I were to do as you suggest, I would have to be careful who was around because I might be committed. I also might scare the hell out of any passing rabbits. Yet, I thank you for holding me in the heartplace from which you spoke I trust you, and I value you exceedingly much.
Snowbrush - Thanks for finding my blog! I hope your Peggy has today off and you're enjoying the holiday together.
I think you're right that feeling alone is part of the human condition... but since I DO believe in Jehovah I'd say it's because this world is only temporary for us and we're destined for better things in eternity. (Or the rest of eternity, since every moment is part of eternity, if you want to get technical about it.) Ultimately faith is an individual decision, of course, and while I definitely wouldn't say it's groundless (I spent MANY years thinking it was, though) I'd also say that it isn't always as "comforting" as we might like it to be.
“Nothing lasts; therefore nothing means anything.” – my take on this is “ Nothing lasts so don’t fear the pain the pain/problem you have now, this time next year it shall most probably have gone even if it has been replaced by a new, completely different pain/problem one.”
I saw my first Psychologist at the age of 13. Part of the reason was that I was very agonizingly aware of how slow time was passing and how very long I would have to endure the institution of school, let alone reach my late eighties. Now I’m older time is passing much quicker which, as mentioned above, makes any discomfort appear to have a feasible end in sight to it.
Everything ends; I generally find that helps me get through the screaming.
On the other hand the things and people I love;
“All that I treasure, all that I protect, will be lost in a mere two or three decades.”, will be taken away from me bit by bit.
Time gives with one hand and robs you blind with the other.
Peggy "Ultimately faith is an individual decision,"
I don't think a person with honest doubts could will himself--or herself--to believe, but even if he could, it would be at the cost of his integrity, would it not since he would be trading his best thinking for what was, to his honest mind, a comforting illusion?
Peggy " it [faith] isn't always as "comforting" as we might like it to be."
I have certainly witnessed this, but I don't fully understand it. If you really believe that God controls your destiny and that eternal paradise awaits you, it would appear--to my heretical mind--that not much could get you down.
All Consuming "I was very agonizingly aware of how slow time was passing and how very long I would have to endure the institution of school"
I know just what you mean, but it seems a little funny in retrospect, does it not?
All Consuming "Time gives with one hand and robs you blind with the other."
Indeed it does.... May I have another name by which to call you?
Nothing lasts therefore nothing means anything: Wrong, everything flows, nothing is static, it does not mean it doesnt mean anything, it means, not only solidified stuff mean or can be defined.
That is all somepeople need to learn from a shrink, who says everybody needs the classical treatment.
Who know what can help who?
Everybody is alone at some point in their life, everbody tries to hide their week spots, that is why you do not see them, and feel everybody has everything solved except you. They dont share because they dont have things solves, they just know how to make it seem like that , or they are completely psychos who do
not suffer, and have no intention in helping improve anybody s life
Everybody feels alone, and is alone, nowbody can have the conversation you have with yourself in your head nowbody can learn to swim in your place.
I learned to be cheearfull on the face of such a future. Because everything is temporary, enjoy as much as you can when you have it. Life is like that, and be greatfull, cause you have had and will had great things. Came on think about kids in refugee camps, second world war. Be greatfull!!
I haven't read the comments above...I'll go back and do that after I leave mine. I'm sure someone said what I want to say...and that's yes, a lot of the things we value will cease to exist or will "seem" to vanish, but the way we led our lives and those we touched...those things live on forever. You've touched and had an effect on many individuals over your life time...and they in turn, have passed that on to others in one way or another. So in many ways, who you are will live on forever. Wonder who saw you stop and take time to talk to the crazy woman outside the library. Wonder how and what effect that may have had on their life...just seeing your kindness...not to mention the effect it may have had on the woman's life. Susan
wow this is the greatest header ever it pulls the reader in and then made me read the whole thing. Not that I didn't want too anyway :)
Hello there your following my friend tashia and i read your post about things being meaningless but that doesn't give you a reason to stop doing them. You can't live your life waiting for death and sadness it just comes along with the whole package, there is no way around it. I was actually going to post something similar, I'm a poet... but I don't want to post something on here for fear of it being in the wrong hands and published without my consent or name. I'm a pretty open person if you ever want to chat sometime. But I just wanted to let you know that I appreciated your comment and I would like to be your friend if you would permit it. Ok talk to you some other time and my name is Brandy :]
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