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“By and large, people who enjoy teaching animals to roll over will find themselves happier with a dog.”
—From Secrets of the Cat by Barbara Holland
Similarities Between Cats and Dogs
Alerts. Both will warn us of danger. In the case
of cats, this is more apt to mean fires, gas leaks, and children in
distress, but I knew a woman whose cat alerted her to the presence of a
burglar while the woman’s dog hid under the couch.
Friendship. Both have the capacity to love humans, members of their own species, and members of other species.
Homing. Both dogs and cats have completed solitary journeys. For example, Peggy’s mother gave away a Scotty that returned home from across town, and a northwest Georgia cousin gave me a cat that returned to Georgia from southwest Mississippi, a direct-line distance of 400 miles (the first thing he did upon arriving was to run to where his food bowl had been).
Hunting. Both hunt with intelligence, patience, and stealth.
Insight. When I fell headlong while jogging across a parking lot one night, my two dogs occupied themselves with smelling the asphalt while I struggled to catch my breath. Generally speaking, cats are equally oblivious to my distress.
Intelligence. Researchers say that the two species are about equal. It seems to me that individuals within a species differ more than the species themselves do.
Loyalty. Both are loyal until death.
Luxury. Both enjoy good food, soft beds, massages, and naps before a heater or in the sunshine.
Persistence. A dog will stay on task until his human forces him from it. A cat will stalk her prey until she captures it or success becomes impossible.
Protectiveness. By virtue of their larger size, dogs are better able to fight for us, but cats have also risked life and limb in our defense.*
Resourcefulness. Herding dogs and curious cats are testaments to ingenuity.
Tolerance. Dogs and cats are more accepting of our failures, preferences, and eccentricities, than are our human friends.
Differences Between Dogs and Cats
Adaptability. Dogs enjoy adventuring with their humans. Cats are homebodies who want everyday to be the same.
Affection for their kind. Dogs prefer the company of humans to that of other dogs. My cats, at least, prefer the company of one another, perhaps because sleeping is their favorite activity, and they feel safe and warm with their bodies touching.
Claws. Cats have claws that climb, grasp, blind, and eviscerate. Dogs have toenails that serve as cleats on soft ground but are useless on pavement.
Cleanliness. Dogs are indifferent to squalor, and go to their baths as to a guillotine. Cats will pee and poop on the floor if their litter box is filthy and, next to sleeping, bathing is what they do most.
Communication. Most dogs are outspoken. Except when their meal is delayed, most cats are subtle.
Dignity. Many cat lovers proclaim dignity as a major feline virtue, but I believe that dignity varies more between individual dogs and cats than between the two species. It also seems to me that both species are more dignified than is our own.
Forgiveness. A dog will lick the hand that strikes him. A cat will run from it.
Genetic differences. All human-created dog breeds have genetic weaknesses, some of which lead to lives that are short and miserable. Cats have largely escaped this fate, although scientific advances are making abuses possible.
Grace and agility. Assuming youth and vigor, the grace and agility of the world’s clumsiest cat probably exceeds that of the most agile and graceful dog.
High places. Dogs fear heights. Cats so love them that vets have coined the term high rise syndrome to describe the fate of cats who become overly confident in their climbing prowess.**
Hunting. Packs of dogs ambush their prey and run it to ground. Solitary cats blindside unsuspecting prey with speed and agility.
Intelligence. Dogs show intelligence by doing the bidding of humans. Cats show intelligence by thwarting humans in favor of private goals.
Injury. Cats have thin bones that make them susceptible to injury, yet they are far more likely than dogs to survive falls, and they actually survive long falls better than short ones.***
Killing. Dogs wound and kill with their teeth. Cats wound with teeth and claws before killing with their teeth. Dogs kill swiftly. Cats bat their prey about in order to hone their hunting skills.
Obedience. A dog will move heaven and earth to please his human. A cat will move heaven and earth to please herself. Dogs come running when called. Cats come walking when their treat jar is rattled.
Passing time. My indoor cats sleep, bathe, cuddle,
observe, play, demand food, and eat, pretty much in that order. What
dogs do depends upon upon what they have access to, so the following is
in no particular order: sleep, walk, play, bark, cuddle, entreat, smell
things, and leave urine marks.
Playfulness. Adult dogs require few toys—a tennis ball and a chew/cuddle toy will usually suffice—and they enjoy playing the same games they played as puppies, sometimes for hours a day. Adult cats require a succession of new toys, which they abandon within minutes of receiving them. Cat lovers agree that cats enjoy the box that their $50 toy came in more than they enjoy the toy itself. Among their favorites are laser lights; toys that can be lobbed across a room so the cat can run to it and wait for his human to come and retrieve it; and toys that can be tied to a stick and swung over the cat’s head.
Politics. Dogs are monarchists who view their adult humans as their superiors. Cats are libertarians who, at best, regard their adult humans as their equals.
Purring. There is no canine equivalent to a cat’s purr. Cats purr when they’re happy, sick, frightened, or in pain. Kittens purr differently than adults; some cats purr in one note and some cats purr in more than one note; and all cats purr both on the inhale and the exhale.
Remorse. A scolded dog wants to dig a grave and pull the dirt in after her. A scolded cat interprets being scolded as an unwarranted annoyance.
Reserve. If reserve is important, get a cat, but preferably not a Siamese.
Sharing food. A dog that approaches another dog that is eating commits a serious faux pas. Most cats will share their food with loved ones.
Society. Dogs are a social species. Cats are solitary. Dogs are extroverts. Cats are introverts. Dogs are like humans. Cats are like cats.
Speed and Stamina. Dogs run fast and have excellent aerobic stamina. Cats run slowly and are soon winded.
Stepping over. When a person steps over a resting dog, the dog scrambles to her feet in abject terror. When a person steps over a resting cat, the cat just lies there.
Strength. Cats use their legs to bat their prey around, knock it into the air, and pin it for the kill. The legs of dogs are only good for running.
Togetherness. A dog says to his human, “You are my god, and all I ask of life is to be with you every moment of everyday.” A cat says to her human, “You are my equal, and I insist that you respect my need for alone time.”
Tricks. Dogs throw their entire beings into learning whatever tricks their humans are pleased to teach them. The only trick at which my cats excel is being on time for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. In fact, they prefer that I serve every meal an hour early.
What a dog wants his human to know: “For as long as I live, I will devote every ounce of my being to your happiness. Though it come to pass that the world despise you, I will remain steadfast. If you treat me well, my life will be joyful. If you treat me badly, my life will be miserable, but I will serve you anyway.”
What a cat wants her human to know: “I do my thing and you do your thing.
I am not in this world to live up to your expectations,
and you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you, and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful.
If not, it can't be helped.”—Fritz Perls
So, Which Is Better?
Despite having made this question the subject of a lengthy post, I contend that the question is no more sensical than asking whether a hammer is better than a screwdriver. What does make sense is to ask oneself the following questions before acquiring any pet:
(1) What jobs do I expect my pet to perform?
(2) What characteristics do I want my pet to have?
(3) Will I have the willingness and the ability to provide for the longterm physical and emotional needs of my pet?
Dogs are versatile and adaptable animals that can perform scores, perhaps hundreds, of specialized services at which no cat can compete, so a dog is the only option for people who require those services. A dog is also the better choice for people whom, for reasons of personality, prefer dogs to cats. However, one must remember that a dog requires considerably more maintenance than a cat.
Cats excel at killing small rodents, so if a person needs a mousekiller, a cat is the only viable option. Likewise, if a person simply wants a companion that is: small, quiet, beautiful, affectionate, self-cleaning, low-maintenance, mysterious, long-lived, non-smelly, pleasing to the touch, comes housebroken, and is capable of warning of certain types of danger, then that person should acquire a cat.
*https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dw9AwaJaVGU
** https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/High-rise_syndrome
***http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2010/11/domestic-cats-can-fall-from-any-height-with-a-remarkable-survival-rate/
19 comments:
I love them both.
However, since I cannot give a dog the exercise it needs, for many years it has been cats that I have been privileged to share my life.
You forgot the biggest difference between dogs and cats: Dogs go outdoors; cats go indoors (and if you don't clean their litterbox assiduously they stink like crazy!) Well, maybe you've discerned that I like dogs better than cats, but that being said, we had cat for 17 years and I loved her dearly. So like you say, it depends more on the person than the animal. Fun post!
What a delightful post. I caught myself nodding, saying "yes, yep, uh huh," and laughing out loud as I read.
We've had dogs AND cats over the years. We've had the same cat for over twenty years. Her vet says she'll likely live until she is at least twenty-five. Minuet has never walked on the ground because she is a house cat. She hollers like we're killing her when she has to go to the vet. The outdoors disturbs her. Mi used to enjoy viewing the world through the window behind my desk until she was diagnosed with arthritic hips.
Minuet was the runt of the litter of an abandoned cat, Talulah, whom we adopted. We kept her brother, Simon as well. He died from kidney failure several years ago.
Min obeys commands. She will even sit on command. She fetches her toy when she wants to play. She says "Hey" back at me when I greet her. She says it in the morning too, when we haven't seen each other 'cause I've been away, and every time she enters the room.
Cats give the best love and require less care. Both Simon and Minuet rarely left my side the times I've had surgery.
It was nice to read something lighter in our time of great doom and gloom. We've had both but are probably more dog people.
I haven't lived with a cat since I accompanied the family cat to the vet for the last time when I was about 16 so I might be unqualified to comment.
I love love love dogs though, their joy just makes me happy.
Like EC, I cant really exercise a dog but Harry goes to playgroup once a week and hopefully that's enough for him. He does get bonus walks at random intervals when the kids come over.
I have quite a soft spot for rabbits, apropos of nothing
Better? That depends on your lifestyle.
I love dogs. I think they need lots of room to run (I'm a farmgirl raised). I can't put a dog in a small city home backyard. Plus, leaving home for a quick weekend requires a dogsitter to visit/walk/feed twice daily at $20/visit. Or kenneling for the same $.
Cats: I can put out 2 dishes of water and food and leave for a quick weekend and they are fine. If we're gone longer than that, we hire a sitter to come in daily so they are comfy at home.
Cats and dogs are commitment. Love them all. In the city, the cat gets my vote. If I had an acre+, dogs and cats ;-)
I wondered what had become of you of late, and now I know you were writing this lengthy but delightful post! Assuming you aren't guily of plagiarizing parts of it, you might consider submitting it for publication at some appropriate place.
I grew up with both dogs and cats but have had only dogs as an adult. Now two of our three children have dogs, and two of our three children have cats. Simple math will tell you that one has both.
I am more leery of cats in general. There are some dogs I would be leery of as well, though, so that's probably not a fair comment.
As the Bible says, "The first shall be last," and with that thought in mind, I will start at the bottom and work up:
"...now I know you were writing this lengthy but delightful post! Assuming you aren't guily of plagiarizing parts of it..."
Oh, HORRRRROARS! As you well know (being one of my first two readers), I'm a lowdown, alienating, conniving, adulterous, shiftless, paranoid, bad-tempered, drug-taking, grudge-holding, foul-mouthed, God-hating, Republican-bashing, skunk, but that doesn't mean that I have no inviolable standards, among which is the following: I'M NO PLAGIARIST (although it's true that I didn't accredit the photo-montage, that was because I have no idea who created it)! Now, thank you for your kind words. I did work awfully hard on this post.
"I am more leery of cats in general."
When I got my first cat as an adult (not counting one that I soon dumped on my parents), I was like a new father who feared touching his baby because he didn't know but what it would break. I am no longer leery of cats, although I have observed that it's more important with cats than with dogs that a person not rush in, but instead approach cats at their speed.
"Cats: I can put out 2 dishes of water and food and leave for a quick weekend and they are fine"
I envy you. I have five cats, two of which are on different prescription diets (one of the two kinds of food costs $10 a pound). If they don't get their proper food, one throws up everything he eats, and the other gets bladder stones. One of these two "special cats" still vomits if I don't divide his food into six daily meals. All of my cats are notorious food-thiefs, and two of them are gorgers (who promptly vomit). So, I can't just put food out before going away for a weekend.
"I have quite a soft spot for rabbits, apropos of nothing"
Peggy and I had two rabbits, but I was disappointed to note that, when I looked into their eyes, I couldn't tell who or what was looking back (not that either rabbit appeared to notice that I even had eyes). I know, of course, that rabbits are sentient creatures, but as to how aware they are of the reality of other creatures' existence, I truly don't know. I just know that my impression was that they weren't terribly aware, although this conclusion might have said a lot more about my limitations than theirs. I had a really, really smart dog once (a blue heeler who, when my rabbits escaped into the woods next door, would pin them for me without hurting them), and that dog broke me of the desire to have a any more brilliant pets because I concluded that brilliant pets are easily-bored pets, so unless a person can keep them stimulated, it's not fair to have them. This means that I don't care if my cats are REALLY smart (I doubt that they are), but I do care that they're smart enough to establish a connection. I assume that you experience such a connection with your rabbits, and I must admit that there's nothing cuter--or wiser looking--than a bunny, partly because they are surely among the world's most innocent creatures, both in terms of what is in their hearts and how little harm they do. It is for this last reason that I'm such an admirer of earthworms.
"We've had both but are probably more dog people."
I wonder what makes a person favor one or the other. It seems to me that such preferences must say SOMETHING about a person, but I don't know what, although I'm sure I'll get around to looking for studies.
"Her vet says she'll likely live until she is at least twenty-five. Minuet has never walked on the ground because she is a house cat"
My youngest is only fourteen months (my oldest is ten years), and since I'm 71, I worry that he might outlive me. As for indoor-only cats, unless a person can keep his or her cat from killing birds and other wildlife, I regard having indoor-only cats an ethical necessity. Three of my five cats came from a shelter that requires its adopters to promise to keep their cats indoors, and I will never get another cat from a shelter that didn't have this requirement. Of course, having indoor-only cats does make it necessary to work harder to provide for the emotional needs of one's pets, but since my wife and I are home almost 24/7, and since our cats live with other cats and have an abundance of cat trees (and birds and squirrels at our several feeders to watch), it's just not that hard. When I ask myself if they are doing well living indoors, I can say without reservation that they are. Like yours, on the rare occasions when one of them steps through an open door, they're eager to come back indoors (we learned early-on the importance of bringing them indoors with affection rather than scolding).
"You forgot the biggest difference between dogs and cats: Dogs go outdoors; cats go indoors. Well, maybe you've discerned that I like dogs better than cats..."
Tom, I've known this for quite some time, and it is the reason that I thought of you numerous times while writing this post. What I don't understand about this particular statement is why you don't consider peeing and pooping indoors to be a strong argument IN FAVOR OF CATS. Having spent decades standing around outdoors--most disagreeably at midnight in the Minnesota snow or the chilly Oregon drizzle--waiting for a dog to go potty when the dog was much more interested in staring off into the darkness than in attending to business, and then having to dry the dog's fur and clean the mud from the dog's feet, a litter box seems like a convenience rather than a burden.... A major problem that we had with one of our dogs was that her fear of fireworks made it nearly impossible to get her to go potty outdoors for most of July and much of January.
"However, since I cannot give a dog the exercise it needs, for many years it has been cats that I have been privileged to share my life."
"Privilege" certainly being the right word. While I can still walk for twenty minutes without being in so much pain that I can't sleep, I'm glad to be out from under the burden of having to do so.
'Dogs are indifferent to squalor, and go to their baths as to a guillotine. ' - Hahahaha, this is true, but have you ever tried to put a cat in the bath? I have and believe me that cat levitated like a true demon. Some cats won't wash themselves due to previous neglect or if they've been taken away from their mother too soon. They remain very much like kittens all their lives, I've known two like this belonging to two different people, and those cats would have dreds all over them all matted horribly if left to their own devices. I also note that Rosie is grateful after her bath whereas Lardy wouldn't stay in a bath, she was like a tank and having none of it so I had to tie her up in the garden and wash her with pans of warm water, which worked pretty well. From my perspective at least.
I have always considered myself a dog person and that was from being a child. I met many cats and have done as I've aged and of all those cats only one has ever been the type to cuddle up as often as possible. The rest would decide when they wanted to be stroked and then randomly bite me or scratch me or whoever else they were sat on. Cats also like showing their bumhole more than I'm keen on. My favourite cat was called Stinky Bob, he was one of the cats who couldn't clean himself and when I met him he had one eye, and one ear and his tail had been bobbed, the tail bobbing thing is a horrible practice, the ear and eye were lost in fights with other cats I was told. He was so loving and wanted to be stroked all the time, but also was stinky inbetween baths. Dogs can be annoying when they're too giddy, and I've found most male dogs to be like that whereas female dogs are quieter, and I have to say, appear to be somewhat smarter. Hahahahahaha. No dog has ever bitten me or purposely scratched me, whereas most cats seem to like doing that. Cats tend to look like they're planning to take over the world with a masterplan whereas dogs look like they're waiting for the next biscuit all the time. So I feel safer with dogs as they don't tear my skin apart and they make me laugh more too. I know your cats are all lovely, I believe you, and I'd happily meet them all. But I'm a dog gal. If I ever end up unable to walk a dog I'll hire someone to walk them for me, if that isn't possible then I'd get a cat. I'd get the cat no one else would take because it looked weird or only had three legs. I would only get a rescue cat, much like I do rescue dogs and it wouldn't be a kitten because a- everyone else wants a kitten and b - I looked after someone's kitten for a week once and they never sleep, they jump like they're being gleefully electrocuted all over you during the night and do the same during the day with the curtains, sofa and your face. Cute, but still capable of tearing your arm apart.
Great post sweetie x
Marion, the ancient Egyptians employed cats to kill snakes, which were a problem outdoors and indoors.They also used the mongoose (which they called the ichneumon), but cats were clean, didn't smell, and made good pets. Sadly, cats have wiped out the snakes in my neighborhood.
"My two cats (down from 6) like to go outside to pee & poop, but we live near the woods..."
As you might know, my cats never go outside, so there have only been two years that we used a flea killer. If I lived in the woods as you do, I don't know what I would do about letting my cats out. The dangers are clearly fewer where you are, but then there is still the problem with the killing of wildlife. During the time I've had cats, we had a total of one mouse venture indoors. We suspected as much one night when the two cats that we had at the time passed the evening staring at the bottom of the refrigerator. The next morning, the mouse was dead. I wouldn't really do it, of course, but cats take such pleasure in killing that I've fantasized buying mice for them. Before I replace the foundation vent covers, I wouldn't have even needed to buy mice because there were times that we trapped two to four a day.
M__, I don't know how to interpret--or respond to--what struck me as your terribly sad and unsettling comment other than at face value...
"I have always considered myself a dog person and that was from being a child. I met many cats and have done as I've aged and of all those cats only one has ever been the type to cuddle up as often as possible."
All those years and all those cats, yet you persist in viewing cats as creatures that "randomly bite me or scratch me." How do you interpret the fact that the beloved creature that I see--and revere--when I look at a cat is unrelated to the vicious monster that you see? Do you imagine that I have an unaccountable fondness for being bitten and scratched? I would wish for you that you were able to put aside your dislike of cats sufficiently to understand their behavior, it being utterly absurd to conclude that cats go about attacking people at random. However, part of the appeal of cats is that they won't submit to being fully tamed, and whereas many dogs will remain docile even if being beaten to death, this is not the case with cats. No doubt the cats that you saw as random biters and scratchers felt that they were under threaten, and since these events seemed to have occured in situations that are innately threatening to cats, their behavior shouldn't have come as a surprise. My cats never purposefully draw blood, and none of the many cats that I pet--and that are strangers to me--while walking ever draws blood, my point being that all but a very few cats are docile unless they feel threatened, and it is easy to predict when they will feel threatened.
"have you ever tried to put a cat in the bath?"
Peggy and I have bathed parts of cats after they got into glue or sticky foods that they would have found it difficult to remove in a timely manner on their own. If I were to bathe an entire cat, I would hope to start out days ahead of the full monty by bathing one body area at a time. The primary self-bathing challenge for most cats is that, like people, they either become too infirm or else too old and stiff to reach their entire bodies. Then there are such absurd breeds as the Persian that can't bathe itself adequately, and whose fur must be brushed in order to keep it from knotting.
cont.
"I met many cats and...and only one has ever been the type to cuddle up... The rest would decide when they wanted to be stroked and then randomly bite me or scratch me or whoever else they were sat on."
Given that you've been repeatedly bitten and scratched by all but one of the many cats that were "sat on" your lap over the years, I would seriously suggest that your friendship roster contains an uncommonly large number of insensitive and reckless individuals who think nothing of mistreating their cats and, in the process, endangering you. These people's cats must have concluded that they had fallen into the hands of demons, and it seems to me that their assessment was accurate given that, for whatever reason, the people upon whom they should have been able to rely ignored their interests.
My cats neither bite nor scratch, but not only would I never dream of forcing them into someone's lap at a social gathering, I wouldn't put them into my OWN lap at a social gathering because nothing could be more obvious to a person who makes even a rudimentary effort to see the world through a cat's eyes than the following: trying to force a cat to smooze with someone--anyone--when the cat is already stressed will almost certainly go badly, sometimes badly enough to leave bloodstains on clothing and upholstery, yet this is precisely what your various friends did to their many cats.
One reason that so many people prefer dogs is that so few dogs have personal boundaries, and this enables people can get away with handling dogs they've just met with a degree of intimacy that cats reserve for people that they've known a long time and feel closely bonded to. If a cat says a firm no to something that a person wants the cat to do--like being intimate with sundry people at a social gathering--and the cat's human is too young, too drunk, too inexperienced, or too arrogant to notice or care, what would you expect the cat to do? To put it another way, what would YOU do if people you thought, or at least hoped, you could trust forced you to attend a social gathering that you didn't wish to attend, and then forced you into the laps of people you hardly knew? I daresay that you and these cats are not so different, yet instead of placing blame where it is due, you blame the cats for "randomly" biting and scratching the people whose laps that were "sat on," and I am particularly struck by your acknowledgement that this same scenario has played out repeatedly.
Another thought that might or might not have played a part in your experiences is that cats commonly become anxious when their abdomens are rubbed because while gentle rubbing feels good, the good feeling is pitted against a feeling of extreme vulnerability due to the fact that fighting cats try to disembowel one another. Therefore, what sometimes happens is that a cat will bear a belly rub for a while before becoming increasingly tense and finally freaking out over the thought that the resultant vulnerability is more than he or she can bear. Looking for signs that the cat is stressed makes a lot more sense than coming to harm and then blaming the cat for having behaved much as you would behave if you were in fear for your life. Another factor is that cats don't respond well to loud people and fast movements, and this means that they behave in ways that makes no sense unless an observer is able to put him or herself into the cat's frame of reference. Finally, if a cat should begin to behave aggressively, it is usually works better to speak calmingly and to draw away slowly.
After 21 years on the Internet (I found a review I did on Amazon in 1999), this is still my all-time favorite animal joke which I first read about 20 years ago...a classic!!! Ha!. This was 75% accurate with my Siamese, Ramone. I literally sat on him while my husband shoved the pill down his gullet; the only way to give him meds. It was hilarious...more than once. That damn gorgeous cat ran our lives for almost 22 years. He’s still my favorite. I have to admit all these years later that our over dozen cats and only 3 dogs, lived MUCH better than we did and gave us buckets and buckets of joy and laughter. Big hearts. ❤️ Enjoy and laugh...remember, it’s a joke...for the most part. xo
HOW TO GIVE A CAT A PILL:
Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.
Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil, and blow down drinking straw.
Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of Scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
Call fire department to retrieve the damn cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.
Tie the little @!!@#@#$%'s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of steak filet. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
Consume remainder of Scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and remove pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.
^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^
HOW TO GIVE A DOG A PILL:
Wrap it in cheese.
PS to M___: "Cats also like showing their bumhole more than I'm keen on."
As with most things, how one feels about this behavior is largely dependent upon how one interprets it. Cats bond by smelling one another's butts, so when a cat turns his or her butt toward you, he's just trying to be polite. I don't know if I notice the behavior less, or if my cats do it less than they they used to.
Marion, thanks for the humor. It IS harder to give pills to cats than to dogs because cats squirm more, making it necessary for us to sometimes wrap a cat in a blanket. Putting drops in their eyes can also be a challenge, but it's still easier than putting pills down their throats, and then taking the time and effort to verify that the cat isn't simply waiting to spit it out when our backs are turned. It's one of those jobs that I can't imagine doing alone.
Snowy, I was thinking of old blogger friends and you came to mind. I'm happy to see you are still blogging! I'm a damn school teacher... no time for any pleasure. But hey, I have a retirement account! {insert eye roll here...comments on selling out ensue}
I miss you friend! I will try to stop by more often!
"Snowy, I was thinking of old blogger friends and you came to mind."
I'm glad to know you're okay. Are you still in southern Cal? Did you know that another commenter to this post--Marion--is from, and lives in, Louisiana?
P.S. to CreekHiker. Is your mother still alive?
Yes, alive and kicking...allowed a stranger in her home yesterday. Today, I exercise my power of attorney and move her money to a savings account I control! I haven’t seen her in a year...such a horrible daughter. Was headed home for Christmas and got vertigo 24 hours before the flight...had planned to see her in March and COVID. I’m high risk. I am NOT getting on a plane when she had every opportunity to move HERE. She set her life up this way. But that doesn’t stop the guilt!
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