Voting day

I voted today—Oregon has mail-in balloting—but I listened to the debate tonight for laughs, and was glad I did because I learned a lot about America. For example, “America remains the one indispensible nation,” said Obama, although he didn’t clarify whether he meant that all the other nations put together are dispensable, or whether it’s just some of them, or maybe only one of them that the rest of the world could do without. 
Romney informed me, twice in as many sentences, that, “America is the hope of the world,” and I was delighted to learn that everyone looks up to us the way they do, because we’re certainly worthy of it—I mean, just look at all the good things we do with our missiles and stuff. Then Romney accused Obama of wanting to take money away from our military, and Obama looked hurt, but he must have pulled himself together pretty quickly because he said with obvious pride that, under him, America spends more money on its military than the next ten biggest military spending nations on earth put together, and I thought, whoa, way to go, bro.
Our ability to kick ass combined with our willingness to kick ass is probably why both men agreed that it’s America’s job to “continue promoting peace in the world (I hadnt heard that we had already been doing it, but I was glad to find out). After their touching words about how peaceful America is, they agreed that war with Iran is certain if that country doesn’t stop trying to build a nuclear bomb, and they expressed their mutual willingness to also go to war in defense of Israel if anyone should mess with Israel. Like, man, let’s hope nobody attacks Israel, or it and Iran will be two more wars we’re fighting to bring peace to the world. 
In case you’re wondering, I voted for the Green Party candidate for president. Shes in the picture above, the caption of which refers to the arrest of her and her running mate during the last debate (they were protesting the fact that only only two of the candidates got invited to the debate). The rest of the caption concerns Obamas willingness to ignore parts of the Bill of Rights that dont suit him. You think the Constitution protects you, and then you discover that its only as good as the guy in charge says it is, and two of those guys in a row have ignored what we used to call our inalienable rights.” The funny thing is that hardly anyone seems to care. This was exemplified by the fact that the subject didnt even come up during the debates. Maybe Romney and Obama were too busy thinking about who to bomb next in the cause of peace. 


Chartreuse said...

Did Obama actually say yours is the 'only indispensable nation'? Then I guess you won't be interested in any comments from us dispensables! But just in case you are, I love your humour. Thanks to your blog I may be able to convince some of my fellow indispensables that it's not true no one in America understands irony. I've been trying to persuade them of this for some time, but those who only know US humour from your TV exports obviously remain unconvinced. (Now if we could just get you to spell correctly - e.g. put back the 'u' in humour - we might begin to accept that all's not lost in Marlboro country.

Elephant's Child said...

I voted in our own local elections ahead of time as well. The elections were held last Saturday. Neither of the major parties have won enough seats to form Government. They will have to form an alliance with the Greens. Which will be much easier for one of the major parties than the other. Time will tell.
I am glad to hear that America is the hope of the world.
Sadly your countries ability and willingness to let your military forces out to play worries me more than a little. Not least because we tag along saying 'me too, me too'.

Charles Gramlich said...

Did you ever watch the movie Team America: World POlice? you Ought to. Hilarious movie.

Deb said...

The question about protecting Israel scared me, for either party. Personally, I would have liked to have seen Hillary Clinton in this race. Despite what I've said before about not voting, I am going to vote, for the "calmer" choice. Each are too extremes: too left/too right. No center left or right. Both lie. Both fabricate. Both "attack" one another.

I'll be at the polls, but I'll be disgruntled.

Snowbrush said...

"Did Obama actually say yours is the 'only indispensable nation'?"

Oh, yeah, I wouldn't make stuff this up:
Oddly, the comment wasn't even mentioned in the post-debate analysis. How extraordinary it must seem to the rest of the world that an American president can write-off their countries in such a way, and that most Americans consider the truth of the statement too obvious to be worthy of note. That's just how arrogant this country is.

"They will have to form an alliance with the Greens."

The Greens are a joke here (as is everyone who isn't a Republican or a Democrat), although they did manage to get on the ballot in most states. You vote for a Green to make a statement, not to elect a candidate.

"Did you ever watch the movie Team America: World POlice?"

I'll look it up. Thanks for the tip. I like it that you shared that.

"Each are too extremes: too left/too right. No center left or right."

I guess you don't like the Greens, the Progressives, the Constitutionalists, or the Libertarians either, eh?

Snowbrush said...

Here's the actual text of the debate:

"Now if we could just get you to spell correctly - e.g. put back the 'u' in humour - we might begin to accept that all's not lost in Marlboro country."

Shouldn't that be Marlbouro country? Anyway, I can find plenty of irony in American politics and American religion, but when you bring up such things to Americans, their eyes typically glaze over, after which they dismiss you as an America hater, a fanatic, a member of the lunatic fringe, and so forth. No one in America is encouraged in the least to think clearly, at least in the areas of politics and religion in which so much care and money is put into making rationality seem unpatriotic and blasphemous. We Americans have our myths that we live by, and, by god, if you know what's good for you, you had best respect them. Like hell I will.

Charles, I went to the local library site and reserved the film you suggested.


I started watching it, but I really, really, do figure there are "handlers" in the background, flipping through computer files, whispering answers into the debater's ear canals. Call me paranoid.

But with all their henchmen watching the prior debates and giving suggestions to "stand like this" and "Keep your hands folded" etc, I think it's all choreographed.

Let's just say that if I was handed a job to do, and four years to do it in, if I didn't produce results within a set limit, I would be replaced.

There are a lot of voters who don't care about the platform either stands on, but can be bought with free cell phones and section 8 housing.

It that was all I cared about, my vote could be phoned in during my nap.

None of it is above board, I don't care WHO runs for office.

Phoenix said...

There's a great survey you can fill out online to see which candidate you agree with the most. And, naturally, I ended up agreeing 84% with Jill Stein.

I know it's sucky to say, though, but I'll be voting for Obama because I'm too terrified of Romney becoming President. Anyone who says that there's no difference between the two hasn't watched (or been affected by) the Tea Party eradicating birth control access and abortion rights state by state. I keep wondering when the day is that the US becomes another country that shoots 14 year old girls for wanting an education now that they've had their reproductive and voting rights taken from them. This country is headed towards a theocracy (which scares the ever living crap out of me) and while I have major problems with both of the Dem and Repub candidates, I feel Romney would push our country towards religious conservatism even more. When that happens - and it inevitably will, just hopefully not this November - I'll be packing my bags and trying to talk my husband into leaving the country.

Heidrun Khokhar, KleinsteMotte said...

And the Chinese are so happy that those two think it's all Iran and Israel!
They can just move into power quietly when they see the time is right since they pretty much make every darn communication and media device we all use. It's known they added a little extra to to that tech stuff. Great way to collect info with no visible spies.
iran building nuclear power is hardly a threat. All any one needs to do is mess up nuclear power plants. We saw that just last year. Take your iodine to avoid radiation from that fallout.

Snowbrush said...

"None of it is above board..."

I think you're completely right (in regard to the Democrats and Republicans), and everything you said about the debate itself is probably true also except for the part about them having advisers talking to them surreptitiously during the debate (I think that would be too distracting).

" I ended up agreeing 84% with Jill Stein."

Give me a link if you can, so I can take the test.

"I know it's sucky to say...but I'll be voting for Obama because I'm too terrified of Romney becoming President."

"I guess we have all voted for someone we didn't like but who seemed the lesser of two evils. I also agree with you that there are significant differences between Obama and Romney. However, I decided against voting for either of them because they are both so evil that, despite their differences, I was unable to care one whole hell of a lot who won. I also think there are a good reasons to vote for a third party candidate. For instance, I expressed my disgust with the mainstream candidates; I sent a message about what I would prefer; and I hopefully encouraged the party that I voted for. One thing is for sure, and it is that we'll never see the changes we want if we continue voting for the status quo. Even if I knew that my vote would have had the power to decide the election (for Obama or Romney), I still couldn't have voted for either of them.

"And the Chinese are so happy that those two think it's all Iran and Israel!"

If they thought it was them we were after, the arm's race would really take off.

CreekHiker / HollysFolly said...

Seriously considering Jill Stein...

The Blog Fodder said...

Your last election was about HOPE. This one is about FEAR. Saw that in an article on AlterNet and agree. People are voting for Obama because they are terrified of what Romney might do. Obama is "the greater evil" as he appears to be moderate but if you look at the last four years from a civil rights and foreign affairs perspective, he is worse than Bush.

TASHIA said...

Isn't it funny how much this country prioritizes ENTERTAINMENT? I mean, the entire debate was like a SPORTS competition. Who's side are you on? Which JOCK will you vouch for? And we do it again the next 4 years. I'm beginning to think something within the system has got to change very soon. I think after Obama's last term, we will see a drastic shift in the way elections are run. How much longer can we continue with this 2-puppet system?

Its pathetic and why are we all participating in this despicable GAME?

IS this really our best hope?!

Why are we giving these politicians so much power?!

Its a new age and old systems are failing.

I look forward to ushering in the new age.

Snowbrush said...

"Your last election was about HOPE. This one is about FEAR."

Good point, Fodder.

"I mean, the entire debate was like a SPORTS competition."

Absolutely. Imagine a single one of these "debates" being enough to change anyone's mind about who they were voting for. Our elections about showmanship rather than substance.