Showing posts with label Romney. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Romney. Show all posts

Voting day


I voted today—Oregon has mail-in balloting—but I listened to the debate tonight for laughs, and was glad I did because I learned a lot about America. For example, “America remains the one indispensible nation,” said Obama, although he didn’t clarify whether he meant that all the other nations put together are dispensable, or whether it’s just some of them, or maybe only one of them that the rest of the world could do without. 
Romney informed me, twice in as many sentences, that, “America is the hope of the world,” and I was delighted to learn that everyone looks up to us the way they do, because we’re certainly worthy of it—I mean, just look at all the good things we do with our missiles and stuff. Then Romney accused Obama of wanting to take money away from our military, and Obama looked hurt, but he must have pulled himself together pretty quickly because he said with obvious pride that, under him, America spends more money on its military than the next ten biggest military spending nations on earth put together, and I thought, whoa, way to go, bro.
Our ability to kick ass combined with our willingness to kick ass is probably why both men agreed that it’s America’s job to “continue promoting peace in the world (I hadnt heard that we had already been doing it, but I was glad to find out). After their touching words about how peaceful America is, they agreed that war with Iran is certain if that country doesn’t stop trying to build a nuclear bomb, and they expressed their mutual willingness to also go to war in defense of Israel if anyone should mess with Israel. Like, man, let’s hope nobody attacks Israel, or it and Iran will be two more wars we’re fighting to bring peace to the world. 
In case you’re wondering, I voted for the Green Party candidate for president. Shes in the picture above, the caption of which refers to the arrest of her and her running mate during the last debate (they were protesting the fact that only only two of the candidates got invited to the debate). The rest of the caption concerns Obamas willingness to ignore parts of the Bill of Rights that dont suit him. You think the Constitution protects you, and then you discover that its only as good as the guy in charge says it is, and two of those guys in a row have ignored what we used to call our inalienable rights.” The funny thing is that hardly anyone seems to care. This was exemplified by the fact that the subject didnt even come up during the debates. Maybe Romney and Obama were too busy thinking about who to bomb next in the cause of peace. 

The lesser of two evils is still an evil


I shall vote…whimsically. I shall look at my ballot, and I shall see who is running because the only two I’ve heard about are the only two that the super rich want me to hear about (were talking a $2.5 billion campaign here). But shall I vote for Obama or Romney? Naaay, I shall not vote for the Lying Christian Nobel Peace Prize Winning Hit-Man in Chief or for the Lying Christian Foot-in-His-Mouth Buffoon Who Would be Chief. Perhaps, I shall vote for a Green, or a Libertarian, or a Communist (voting for a Communist sounds like great fun in this The Land of the Free and the Home of Brave where Communists used to be deported even if they were citizens). If an anarchist were running for president, I might even vote for an anarchist. I am really excited for me myself to find out who I shall vote for because I haven’t seen my ballot yet, so I only know who Mr. and Mrs. Worth A. Billion want me to vote for. 

You might say that I will be wasting my ballot if I don’t vote for Obama or Romney, but I will say that it is better to waste my ballot than to use it in support of endless war abroad and increasing poverty at home, and do I think either Obama or Romney has the vision, the integrity, or even the popular support to take this country in a new direction? Naaay! If Obama and Romney represent the crème de la escargot of The Land of the Free and the Home of Brave (sorry, foreigners, but we’re freer and braver than you, and we don’t mind saying so either), then we are truly, irretrievably, irredeemably, unremittingly, and forever more screwed, so let the few of us who aren’t too fat to do so bend over now and kiss our asses goodbye.